MacFamilyUnit

Today's Chuckle

2011-07-18T13:53:00.003-05:00

I was reading this post on the New York Time's Motherlode blog, and this sentence struck me as particularly funny:

As soon as the pregnancy test is positive (and often long before), “eating is no longer a simple bodily function, much less a pleasure to be savored; it’s a series of fraught choices, an act with grave consequences, committed three times a day.”

Three times a day?! Pregnant women only eat three times a day?! For me, that was not the case. Try multiplying that number by 10 and you'll get a more accurate number.

Yes, I Can Tie the Oscars to Parenting

2011-02-28T17:13:00.002-06:00

After a prolonged adventure yesterday afternoon, followed by only a hasty nap in the car, MacBaby was quite tired yesterday evening. He fell asleep at the unprecedented early hour of 7:30, allowing MacDad and I to ensure the Oscar telecast.

Anne Hathaway and James Franco were horrible and inside jokes dominated the script. But, my biggest beef was with the best picture nominee montages. Luckily, I had seen a few of the films, because they included the freaking ending! With no spoiler alert! Had I not already seen The Black Swan or The King's Speech, I would have been piiiiiised when I realized that I had already seen the twisty (for Black Swan) ending.

Hopefully, the Social Network's ending was not included, because I have yet to see that one due to its length and MacDad's inability to start a movie and not finish it during the same sitting. I guess I'll have to wait until the next time MacBaby poops out early.

Perceptions of Parenting Before and After Baby

2011-02-24T10:24:00.004-06:00

Before MacBaby's birth, MacDad and I had numerous conversations about the type of parents we would be. Looking back, we were clueless. As many ideas as you can have in your head about how you will parent, it all changes once the little one is in your arms.

We were both anti-formula (MacBaby had it on his first day of life) and anti-co-sleeping (MacBaby still sleeps in our bed). I remember in about my 8th month of pregnancy, MacDad and I debated crying it out. I was anti, and MacDad was pro. He positioned himself as the ultimate disciplinarian, needing to assert control over MacBaby's behavior.

Needless to say, this is not the case. It seems as though MacDad is a pushover, and must instill rules. For instance, when MacBaby finds Oreos in our bed at 9 p.m. (don't ask), he desperately wanted one. I refused, but MacDad, swayed by toddler tears, gave in.

Obviously, the cry it out method has not been discussed any further in our household.

School Days

2011-01-20T10:31:00.002-06:00

As MacFamily unit is approaching MacBaby’s second birthday (time flies!), we have begun debating MacBaby’s education. There’s no debate that he’s getting one – it’s more a question of when and where.

While our school district boasts the third-best preschool in the state, MacBaby can’t enroll until he’s 3, which would be 3.5 with his March birthday. So, do we wait until then, or start him in another program, to potentially switch him a year later? Another big decision – will he go a half day, or a full day, and for how many days each week? Will I be able to leave work to pick him up promptly? What if there’s another MacBaby in our future? How will that affect our schedule?

In order to start answering these questions, I have been scoping out our options. Unfortunately, location plays a bigger role in our selection than I would prefer. As we can barely get out the door now, it’s unlikely that we will spend an extra hour in the car in the morning shuttling to school and work. In addition, we have ruled out preschools in churches, as we're not interested in religious education.

MacDad thinks I’m crazy, but I admit to judging a book by its cover. One preschool I heard great things about doesn’t have a Web site, so they sent me a brochure in the mail. This brochure has not been updated since 1982. There was a label over the pricing listing the current costs. I threw it out. Why, MacDad wanted to know, are the communication materials so important? What if it’s a phenomenal program?

As a modern mom, I need to be communicated with easily, and in ways I’m accustomed. If I can’t look at your Web site to figure out what my son will be eating on a given day, then you’re not up to speed. If I can’t email you, then forget it. If you can’t be bothered to update your brochure in 20 years, then what else are you neglecting?

In addition to appropriate marketing materials, we’re trying to decide what other aspects of a preschool are important to us. I want to ensure that MacBaby will get nutritious meals and snacks, not just a bunch of fried food and sweets. I’m looking for compassionate teachers who don’t raise their voices. An environment with a multitude of learning toys and opportunities for MacBaby to expand his awareness of the world is ideal.

What do you think the right age is for a kid to start preschool? What’s important to you in a program? We need advice!

Toddler Talk

2010-12-08T10:43:00.004-06:00

Here's an excerpt from a conversation I had with my mom last week:

"Oh, by the way, I mean to tell you that it's going to rain tomorrow. Ding."

An outsider to this exchange would have thought she's nuts. But, I knew why she interjected a random verb after the weather warning. The toaster went off. Why would she need to express this during our conversation? Because every time an appliance makes a noise, MacBaby says "Ding," then we reply, "Ding."

Toddler talk has penetrated our home. It's surprisingly hard to leave it there while interacting with other adults.

When MacDad and I go out by ourselves (rarely) and get in the car, we don't remark how we're on our way somewhere, we just say "let's go go." Similarly, I point out a dog, at least in my mind, every time one crosses my path." No longer do we wish each other good bye, but "bye bye." We no longer use the bathroom. We "go potty."

I suppose as his vocabulary improves, my toddler talk will dissipate. But, for now, I'll continue to conclude my meetings with "all done."

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T11:47:00.004-06:00

We are having our inaugural Thanksgiving family feast this year.

I have been tasked with cranberry sauce. My trial run a few weeks back proved successful, so I'm hopeful that it will come out well tomorrow.

Here's the recipe I'm using. Let me know if you use it, too and how it works out!

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Day in the Life Vol. 2

2010-11-22T09:32:00.001-06:00

The first Day in the Life Guest Post follows!

I am a mother of two beautiful, energetic, happy, exhausting girls ages 3 ½ and 10 months. I work as a consultant 3 days a week and I am at home with my daughters the other two days. I look forward to my two days at home with my daughters, but they are definitely “harder” than the days I am at work.

A typical day at home with my daughters starts around 6:30 a.m. I try to get up and shower before my youngest is awake and before my husband leaves for work. My youngest wakes up around 7 a.m. The three of us have breakfast together while my husband gets ready for work. He leaves around 7:30 a.m.

The morning is usually one of favorite times because I love eating breakfast (it is the one thing I can actually cook successfully!) and everyone is happy and excited for the day. We usually have pancakes or French toast but sometimes I try to mix it up by making scrambled eggs. We take our time in the morning- eating, talking, listening to music and dancing. After breakfast we have some play time and get dressed.

My youngest goes down for a nap around 9 to 9:30 a.m. Even though I try hard to limit TV time for my oldest, she LOVES TV, so I usually let her watch a show or two while my youngest naps and I get ready for the day or do some cleaning. Super Why and Word World are our favorites right now. I try to make myself feel less guilty knowing that she is watching something that is helping her with letters and reading.

Then comes rush time… my oldest does gymnastic one day and swimming the other day. No matter how early I start getting ready we always seem to be late. We must get my youngest up for her nap, bottle ready, snack for the oldest, oldest on the potty, shoes and jackets and finally out the door. After gymnastics/swimming we rush home to have lunch. I try to make the lunch earlier in the day so we can sit down and eat right when we get home. Lately it has been peanut butter and jelly for my oldest and I have started eating it too because it is just easier to make two at once. My youngest is still eating baby food and then will pick at some table food.

We rush through lunch because a physical therapist comes to our house to work with my youngest right after lunch. We discovered that my youngest had a stroke at or right before birth, and she is not able to fully use her left arm, hand and leg at this point. She is a left side hemiplegic. She has been getting physical therapy twice a week and we are seeing progress. She recently started sitting up and rolling over- we are so proud of her! The therapy session is about 45 minutes and is equivalent to an adult doing 45 minutes of cardio, so my youngest is usually pretty tired afterwards. She will then take her afternoon nap while my oldest and I have some special alone time. We might do Play-Doh, coloring, reading, cooking, puzzles, games.

My youngest will wake up by 3, have her bottle and then the three of us might go for a walk or run some errands. We start getting ready for dinner around 4:30 and my husband is home around 5:30. Then we have usually eaten and cleaned up by 6. Then it is play time, bath time, get ready for bed and stories. My husband usually puts my oldest to bed while I put my youngest to bed since I am still breastfeeding her at night. If all goes well, both girls are in bed asleep by 7:30. Phew! Then my husband and I have a couple hours to ourselves, which I usually spend doing work, catching up on email, doing laundry, going for a walk or maybe even relaxing every once in a while. Then it is in bed by 10:30 or 11. Love it!

Oh, Erica

2010-11-15T15:55:00.008-06:00

Let me preface this post by stating that I am an Erica Jong fan. When I discovered Fear of Flying in college, it felt like a light bulb went off in my head. It was possible for a woman to be sexual and intellectual in a way that I had never encountered. Instead of just putting the book back on the shelf, I passed it around to all my friends so we could discuss the Zipless you-know-what. I referenced the book in my often-referred to college paper on Jewish mothers in literature. I even tried to get MacDad to read it, but that didn't go too well. I not only read Fear of Flying, but the two lesser-read sequels. So, I'm a bit familiar with her.

It seems my literary idol has created a brouhaha on the internet by slamming Attachment Parenting (AP) in a Wall Street Journal essay. She claims that AP imprisons motherhood and is creating a backlash to the feminist movement for which her generation of women passionately though.

My first thought when reading her article -- the things Jong complains about modern mothers doing are not that hard. Take for example, her issue with making your own baby food. MacDad and I made our own baby food. My reasoning was that I wouldn't want to eat my meals out of a jar, so why should he. Also, we make ourselves dinner almost every night, so steaming some peas and blending them is not so much more work compared to the rest of the meal.

Is making your own baby food such a big deal and something to feel angry about? That's just silly. Same goes for her issues with breastfeeding and reusable diapers. If you use formula and disposable diapers (which I do), fine. If you choose to take the AP approach, that's great too. These activities should be encouraged. It's hard to argue that they're not better for the baby and the environment. However you raise your child, ultimately, it's your choice. That, from my impression, is the point that Jong and her feminist compatriots were fighting for. And, therein lies the difference between her generation and mine.

I get the feeling that Jong didn't necessarily choose motherhood. Having children was the way of life when she was an adult. It was assumed that being a mother was the course your life would take. Now, though, I think that women consider their options more thoroughly. Even though I'm a parent, MacDad and I thought through our decision and intentionally created a family. I don't view AP, or parenting in general as a chore (for the most part), but as a privilege. I'm happy to spend time with my son and to provide for him to the best of my ability, whether it be emotionally, physically or financially.

So, Erica Jong, you have let me down. I do not feel as though I have given up my life for my child, I feel as though he has enriched it.

Everything on My DVR is Depressing

2010-11-04T13:49:00.004-05:00

As referenced in my previous post, I watch tv for an hour per night. Because of an operator error on Sunday night, Dexter did not record at its regular time. It's been looming on my dvr since Sunday night at 10 p.m., along with an episode of Giuliana and Bill and Where the Wild Things Are. Each night since, I've scrolled through these options and passed, instead watching dreck like Top Chef: Just Desserts and the soon-to-be departed Life Unexpected (sad).

Why haven't I opted for more serious fare? Dexter creeps me out. I enjoy it, but not when MacDad is out of town. Ever since (SPOILER) Rita bit it in the bathtub, I can't sleep after watching Dexter wrestle with his dark passenger. And, after the Trinity build up last year, this season has been a bit of a let down. But, that's what I thought at the beginning of last season, so I'll stick with it. When MacDad comes home.

I don't generally watch Giuliana and Bill, but after learning about her miscarriage, I thought I would check in on them. The circumstances around her miscarriage were very similar to what I experienced this summer. I was curious as to how they would present the events and am glad the couple chose to address the miscarriage publicly. On last week's episode they announced their loss, and this week they're dealing with the emotional aftermath. In the preview, many of her emotions echoed my own. I'm fairly certain there will be tears when I watch. I'm too tired to cry at 9 p.m.!

Where the Wild Things Are has been on two dvrs for about two months. I fondly remember the children's book and am interested to see how Spike Jonze adapted the material. I watched the first five minutes of the movie after I initially recorded it and cried hysterically. An alarmed MacDad and MacBaby came inside after playing in the back yard to find a very weepy woman. Something about watching a lonely little boy made me sad. I projected Max into MacBaby, hoping he never feels that alone in his life.

Tonight I'm set wtih 30 Rock and Community. Right after that I'll get around to my stockpiles shows. . . as long as MacDad is in town to deal with the fears and tears.

A Day in the Life

2010-11-01T13:52:00.006-05:00

Something I often wonder about is how other people get themselves and their children together, get to wherever they need to be, do a great job once they're there, then take care of all the evening duties, get a restful night sleep and get up the next day to do it all over again.

I'm going to share how I do it, or attempt to anyway. I'm hoping this will be a series of posts, with other moms (or dad's) letting readers know where they succeed and how their routines can improve. So, here goes.

Weekday

Usually, either my or MacBaby's internal clock goes off promptly at 7 a.m. Since I'm still nursing and MacBaby is still sleeping in the bed with us, he attaches himself to me. Around ten minutes later I detach. If MacDad is home, I leave the two to cuddle and gently remind the elder male to get the boy dressed. If MacDad is travelling, I take the boy into the bathroom and put him in the Pack 'n Play while I shower. Lately, I do so without any screaming involved.

When shower is over I take the boy out of the Pack 'n Play and plop him on the bed so he can watch Curious George/Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That, depending on how late we're running. If MacDad is at home, I yell at him to get the boy dressed. Otherwise, I get myself ready, then go into the boy's room, get his clothes and come back into our room to get him dressed. This whole routine seems to take an enormous amount of time and I'm always running behind. Every day. Even when I skip washing my hair.

Once we're dressed, we go downstairs, where I surreptitiously sneak a banana into my bag. If MacBaby sees it, he'll want one too. We put on the necessary accouterments for the weather (shoes, jacket and hat) and walk to the car. Most of the time, he does not try to run away.

Drop MacBaby off at my parents house. Take him inside so he can see his eggs cooking. This is a very exciting development in his day. Whether or not he eats the eggs, he's very excited to see them and talk about them. Go to work. A few hours later go to my parents house to have lunch with MacBaby. Usually, he's very excited to see me. It's wonderful. Then, back to work.

Nighttime choose your own adventure style: When MacDad is in town, I pick up MacBaby after work and we head home for a well balanced meal (usually) and ice cream (sometimes). We used to eat out all the time before MacBaby, but now we never eat out during the week. When MacDad is home all week, we try to do all of our grocery shopping on the weekend and plan our meals, ideally with us rotating nights cooking. While one is cooking, the other is playing with MacBaby. Or, we watch him cook on his play kitchen, stirring spices and water in his pots. This can get gross.

After dinner, MacDad and MacBaby play for a while and then I give him a bath while MacDad cleans up the kitchen. No exceptions to this part of the night. I am always in charge of the bath. I think it's because I somehow always leave the big pots in the sink, which annoys MacDad, so he figures he may as well get the washing out of the way. After the bath, I put MacBaby in his pjs and MacDad comes up for book reading. Depending on how tired MacBaby is, there are one to many books read. Then, I nurse him till he falls asleep.

When MacDad is out of town, MacBaby and I have dinner at my parents house. Mostly because I'm lazy about cooking, plus he's already there. After dinner a family member will usually come over to help me with the above routine, plus the weekly taking out the trash and the nightly feeding of the dogs. Sometimes my sister will sleep over to assist with the morning duties as well.

Regardless of who's in town or sleeping where, my routine after MacBaby falls asleep never fails. I watch tv for an hour. If MacDad is out of town, we chat on the phone. Sometimes by the end of the week I fall asleep somewhere around 9:30, but usually I make it to 10, then call it a night. Usually MacBaby will wake me up a few times in the night requesting a drink of water, then he'll go back to sleep a few minutes later.

There you have a full 24 hours in the life of the MacFamily unit during the week. I'll save our weekend activities for another post. Any suggested ways we can cut down on the chaos and find more down time to enjoy?

More on Baby Names

2010-10-19T10:56:00.002-05:00

Here's what denizen's of NYC are naming their kids. Guess it's a slow news day for the Journal?

On Choosing a Child's Name to Avoid Grammar Controversy

2010-10-14T13:15:00.003-05:00

Picking a name for your kid is a daunting task. Conventionally speaking, he or she will be stuck with it for this rest of his or her life. I was pretty sure that MacBaby's name would be a variation on one specific names. One name ended with an "s" the other did not.

While MacDad and I were a both big fans of the name that ended with "s," let's say it was Aloysius, I could envision confusion looming in his future. Let's say he's in first grade and is writing a paper about his favorite cartoon character. Would he say "Aloysius' favorite cartoon character is Mickey Mouse?" Or, would he opt for the newly fashionable, "Aloysius's favorite cartoon character is Mickey Mouse," which I hate.

Not wanting to seem old-fashioned in in my use of apostrophe's following an "s," I opted to avoid the controversy by choosing the version of the name that ended with a less contentious constant. Perhaps that is a silly reason for picking a name, but I tried to have my bases covered with simple possessive usage.

Did any (seemingly) strange thoughts led to your child's name?

Prolonged Blog Absence Explained

2010-10-12T11:20:00.007-05:00

In contemplating this blog, I've wondered how to strike a good balance with topics. In everyday conversations, parents often brag or complain about their children, neither of which interested me for the purpose of this blog. I've struggled with how much personal information to disclose, what constitutes TMI.

This summer, MacDad and I experienced a few situations that left me thinking: why have I never heard of anyone else going through this? In an effort to help others realize that these events are more common than suspected, I'm going to share.

In mid-July, I found out I was pregnant. The first few weeks developed similarly to my pregnancy with MacBaby. I was hungry and proceeded to eat constantly. Two weeks after confirming the good news, I felt nauseous all the time. Because I had two early miscarriages before MacBaby, my lady doctor monitored my HCG levels, which progressed as expected. Also because of the previous miscarriages, we went in for an early ultrasound.

Miraculously, I went into the doctor's office right on time, but MacDad was running late. I had an preview of my uterus, which appeared empty except for a placenta. He explained a phenomenon I had never heard before, the missed miscarriage. At this early stage, it would have meant that the pregnancy did not take, but my body proceeded as though I were pregnant. He suggested we continue monitoring my pregnancy hormones, then scheduled a follow up ultrasound for the next week. He gave us a 10 percent chance that perhaps I was pregnant, and that, for some reason, the fetus was not yet visible by ultrasound.

MacDad went home immediately to Google, alerting us of another trend, the misdiagnosed missed miscarriage, a topic recently covered in Babble. Trigger-happy doctors impatient to wait until the next week (or weeks) to determine if the pregnancy is indeed viable abort fetuses based on the immediate diagnosis. We learned of one woman who didn't see her baby on the ultrasound until her 12th week!

Needless to say, I was not in the mood to write about any of this. We had told a few people about the pregnancy, but didn't continue sharing. Meanwhile, my stomach grew and I continued to feel like crap.

Determined to wait a reasonable length of time before deciding our next steps, we went to our appointment a week later (MacDad was on time for this one). Hopeful to end our anxiety, we were relieved to see a tiny bean with a heartbeat on the screen.

That weekend, I swapped my maternity gear for my regular clothes, continued trying not to vomit, spread the good news and proceeded as expectant parents. MacDad traveled for work almost every week, I let the laundry pile in heaps.

With MacDad on the road and my mom watching MacBaby, I ventured to the doctor solo for my 10 week visit. In the car, I remembered feeling excited for my appointments during the previous pregnancy, but now I felt, anxious, almost dreading going to the office. Later, my doctor shared that maybe my body was trying to tell me something.

My feelings, it turned out, were justified. On this ultrasound a heartbeat was absent. The baby measured only at 7 weeks. It had died only days after our last visit.

My parents met me at the doctor's office and we looked for a more hopeful result on a secondary ultrasound. Unfortunately, the diagnosis remained. I arranged for a D&C, not wanting to spend more time looking and feeling pregnant with no positive outcome. MacDad drove home at 3 a.m. from out of town to be there for the procedure.

The doctor assured me that I suffered only from bad luck and nothing I did caused the miscarriage. But you still have to wonder. Did my anxiety make the baby feel unwanted? Was it the glass of wine I had before I knew I was expecting? If 20 percent of pregnancies turn out this way, why didn't I ever hear anyone talk about it happening to them? No celebrities who announce their pregnancy have to say never mind. It didn't make sense. Why did it seem like the only person who suffered miscarriages?

It's not that I wanted everyone I know to have the same experience, but if it happens to two out of ten pregnant women, then they must be out there. Within a week, I learned of two other women who had miscarriages the same week that I did with a D&D to follow. And then, there were celebrities talking about similar issues.

With these events six weeks behind us, I'm left with an extra ten pounds and the annoyance of having to answer questions about my due date. One particularly sensitive fellow asked if I was sure when I told him there was no baby. I'm pretty sure, dude.

MacDad and I have done a pretty good job of keeping the miscarriage in perspective. Yes, it was sad, but it could have been worse. Not to mention, we have our good egg at home who's eager to hang out with us. Even at 5:45 a.m. I welcome his first "mama" of the day.

With a little distance, I've realized that it might help me to write about it. And, it may help others who have also had miscarriages to realize they're not the only one. We'll probably try to conceive again, but this time I'll probably keep the news to myself for awhile, even if a baby bump is obvious. When the time's right to share, I will.

Why I Love Amy Bloom

2010-10-08T15:38:00.004-05:00

Because she articulates my beliefs on this topic, I'm posting below an excerpt from Slate.com's conversation on who gets to be a feminist by Amy Bloom:

On one hand, I feel about this the way my father felt about Jews. If you want to call yourself a Jew (God help you), who are we to object? Mazel tov. You're a Jew; here's an eggroll. Unfortunately, feminism requires a better standard.

Being a feminist does not mean "I'm a woman who has accomplished things in the non-domestic world." Being African-American and on the Supreme Court does not make Clarence Thomas a Civil Rights activist; it makes him a product of the Civil Rights Movement. Feminism, I'm pretty sure, means a commitment to equal opportunity, equal ability, and equal potential for all women. It doesn't mean (and I realize that reasonable women differ on the definition of feminism—that's why it's feminism and not algebra) that a possession of a womb brings with it a special spiritual gift, or that women are avatars of goodness, entitled to yell, "Misogynist!" whenever it is to their advantage.

I like my feminists witty, dignified, left-leaning and short on self-aggrandizement—but they don't always come that way. If Sarah Palin explicitly supports equal pay for equal work, subsidized day care, Title IX, and the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, she's a feminist. If she understands that she is a product of feminism and is prepared to pursue its goals, I can give her a pass on abortion because there are, apparently, honest-to-God feminists who believe that abortion is murder and even though I think that that's not true, I have to respect that (I guess.) But there is no such thing as free market/anti-legislation/I've-got-mine feminism.

I admire Sandra Day O'Connor and Eleanor Roosevelt and their dedication to the cause of feminism. And I admire Sarah Palin's way with a soundbite. But I know and she knows that she's not a feminist; she's a Palinist.—Amy Bloom

Choo Choo Time

2010-10-05T08:48:00.006-05:00

Some might think that living two blocks away from train tracks could be a disadvantage. But for MacBaby, it's produced a love of trains, more commonly know in our house as the choo choo. This choo choo obsession led to nightly walks to catch a glimpse of the train and a major investment in Thomas the Train paraphernalia.

But, most importantly, MacBaby's interest in trains led MacDad to develop his first iphone app! Inspired to create something that would capture MacBaby's attention when we missed the train on our walks, his game incorporates a train that encounters many animals, all which the appropriate sound when you press them.

Needless to say, MacBaby has a great time with the app. He frequently carries our phones around asking for choo choo. When he plays the game, we always see a big smile on his face. Here's a review and a video clip of the game.

If you're interested in downloading the app to your phone, you can check it out here. Let us know if your kid has fun playing the game! Also, feel free to leave other suggestions on other iphone apps for kids. We'll put MacDad to work!

He Screams for Ice Cream -- Literally

2010-10-01T08:36:00.004-05:00

Our pediatrician tells us that MacBaby (now MacToddler, but I'll stick with MacBaby for consistency purposes) is a good eater. He loves his fruits and veggies and has been known to snack on noodles at all hours of the day.

But the kid's got a serious sweet tooth. Since his first birthday, I knew we were in trouble. He learned to say "ice cream" soon after his first bite. His love for cake and cookies know no bounds. We mistakenly picked up a birthday cake for my brother in the middle of the day, and the kid screamed in the store. He was not about to wait until after dinner for the opportunity to smear icing all over his face.

While I've been known to sneak MacBaby the occasional sweet treat, I turn a request down at the same time everyday -- bedtime. You would think that favorite children's books would bring pleasure to parent and child as they wind down their day. But, these innocuous stories end up with the boy running town the stairs begging for cake.

Take, for example, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. There is one page in this book that MacBaby immediately turns to. Not the page listing the caterpillar's fruit intake for the week, but the page filled with junk food. He points out the cake, pie and ice cream followed by a "yum." At least the watermelon and cheese bring us back to healthy.

Good Night Little Bear is no better. The story comes to a crux when father bear sneakily eats a piece of chocolate cake to find little bear. Sometimes the reading of this page ends with tears when MacBaby realizes there will be no cake for him. Don't even get me started on The Poky Little Puppy, but least favorite children's book ever. Not only is the book long and boring, but it is all about dessert. MacBaby has never had strawberry shortcake, and yet he knows he would like it. Clearly, there was no childhood obesity epidemic when these books were published.

Our compromise seems to be Sammy the Seal. Like his impressionable father who must have a Whopper after seeing a Burger King commercial, MacBaby demands a banana when he sees what the monkey in the zoo are consuming. So, he gets a banana before bed.

How do you balance sweets and good treats? Are you surprised about the number of bad food influences lurking in the pages of your kids' books?

I'm Going to Start Wearing a Sign

2010-04-26T12:52:00.001-05:00

The sign shall read:

*Yes, I'm still breastfeeding.

*No, he's not walking.

*That's cereal under his nose, not snot.

My Child Needs Nothing

2010-03-10T14:59:00.007-06:00

My child needs nothing. He has two rooms full of toys at our house and one additional room full of toys at my parents house. He has toys to entertain him while in his stroller and while in his car seat. He has ample clothing, hat and coats.

Yet, we still by him crap. Why do we do this when he would be just as happy playing with pots and pans as he is a set of blocks?

I don't have a good answer, except to think that maybe we're starting to build his nostalgia pile of crap that he will one days leave in our basement, look at occasionally, say "aw," then put it back until he buys his first house and we either force him to take the box of crap with him to his own basement or pitch the contents.

But until then, every time we go to the Science Center, or the zoo or some other child-friendly tourist trap we will likely continue to buy him crap. He now has a green stuffed monkey that will always remind him of the time we took him to the zoo when he was almost one year old and he finally remained awake enough to notice the bears, gorillas and gift shop.

Blah Blah Blah

2010-03-01T14:23:00.003-06:00

Thanks to MacDad for providing me with this graphic illustration of the things I yap about on this blog. It's like looking at a reflection of yourself in words.

When to Wean?

2010-02-23T11:38:00.002-06:00

When MacBaby was one month old, I thought "I am one twelfth of the way done with breastfeeding."

Eleven months later, I no longer have such thoughts. Now that he's well on his way to becoming a foodie, the nursing is more supplemental and not at all bothersome to me.

I'm wondering, do I stick with my plan on stopping at a year, or keep it going?

On one hand, it's really not that big of a deal to keep breastfeeding. MacBaby and I still seem to enjoy the bonding it bring us, and he's capable of enjoying other beverages from bottles, sippy cups and even regular cups. And, when else in our lives will we be able to be that close? When else will I be able to provide for him nutritionally directly from my body?

On the other hand, he's still nursing to go to sleep at night, and I could have a little more freedom during the 7 p.m. hour for all that fun laundry that needs doing.

When do you decide to wean and why?

A Wife Swap Between Me and Myself

2010-01-19T10:51:00.005-06:00

I have had the good fortune recently to have some time off of work and spend quality time with MacBaby. The juxtaposition between working mom and stay at home mom (even for a few days) reminds me of a television program I watched a few years ago.

One night I couldn't sleep and while channel surfing, I found a program where a stay at home mom switched places with her working husband. There were tensions in their marriage because he didn't understand why he never had clean work shirts. Why couldn't she manage a daily load while staying at home with their three children? He warned her of the perils of his taxing job, but they forged ahead with the switch for a week.

At the end of the experiment, the mom revealed she had a great time entering the working world. She enjoyed meeting the dad's clients and spending some time in a professional setting. The dad, on the other hand, looked like he ran through a tornado. Not only did he realize while his laundry wasn't done in a daily basis, but he had a heck of a time adhering to the kids' schedules, making play dates and hosting a neighborhood get together. Then, he took the whole fam to Disney world as an apology for being such an a-hole.

I feel fortunate experience both sides of the situation. When time allows, I love being with my baby and taking care of him. I also like the fact that I can contribute to my family's well being through financial security. Both have their challenges and their rewards. But, it's a lot cozier to cuddle up next to my baby then my computer.

Food Chart by Food Type

2010-01-19T09:02:00.001-06:00

Wholesome Baby Food has posted a food chart by food type, as opposed to child's age. I think this will be helpful for our little guy, who is now enjoying a good steak accompanied by peas and sweet potatoes, with blueberries (his favorite) for dessert.

MacDad's Advice for New Dads

2010-01-05T15:44:00.002-06:00

A friend of the MacFamily Unit just had a baby. Follows is an email from MacDad to this new dad.

Congrats. My only advice is, don't turn to your wife after the first sleepless night and say "You better figure this shit out, I gotta go back to work." She won't likely forget it very quickly. Or perhaps ever.

Other items:

Eastern europeans have uniquely domainant genes; I'm not surprised that she is more Hungarian-flavored than Korean. In the formation of our son, MacMama's russian jew genes crushed mine like a line of T-72s plowing through Prague. But he turned out to be pretty cool anyway.
C-Sections are wild. Did you get to be in the OR? Did you get a clean suit? I accidentally peeked when they did MacMama's. Fucking gore everywhere. Something that looked like pork tenderloin, slathered with jelly; I think it was the placenta. Brings a new level of respect for the mama.
Get out of the hospital as soon as you can. Don't let the nurses or doctors give you any shit. Everyone has advice and it's often conflicting or wrong. Once you get home things get substantially more sane.
OK, one more tip: Nobody comes in or out of your house without bringing you something (food, baby shit) or taking something away (garbage, baby shit.) No casual sightseers.

Now you just have to spend the rest of you life caring for, feeding and nurturing that girl. And keeping her off the pole. Really, that's about it. Congrats again.

LOL.

I Can Take a Hint.

2010-01-04T15:48:00.003-06:00

I just choose not to in this case.

MacDad just sent me this article.

I think he thinks it will motivate me to make dinner tonight.

Wrong!

Drive By Diapering

2010-01-04T09:35:00.002-06:00

My child is on the move. This means the changing table is out since he tries to stand up on it while getting his diaper changed.

We change him now on the floor in his room. To say this is a challenge is an understatement.

Frequently, when MacDad is in charge of changing and I'm in our bedroom, adjacent to MacBaby's room, I'll see a streaking baby crawling across the floor. Yesterday, MacDad was charged with changing MacBaby's diaper while I did dishes after lunch. I heard yelling and came upstairs to see a screeching baby standing on his box of diapers and pounding on it, with his diaper half assembled and hanging off his butt. The proud parents just stood there laughing.

Just lying on the floor while we change his diaper, apparently, is not high on MacBaby's priority list.

Any suggestions to make the process more seamless? Or do we just continue to chase after him and pin him down to fasten the diaper?

On the plus side, MacBaby's cruising is proving to be good for my waist line.

The Hangover

2009-12-28T19:32:00.003-06:00

MacDad recommended I incorporate some tips and tricks into the blog. So here's a "what not to do."

Do not go out to dinner, have too much wine, go to a high school reunion, drink beers, come home with your childhood girlfriends at 1 a.m. screaming like "wild banshees," eat all the Christmas cookies, wake up the baby and pass out on the bathroom floor.

Just a suggestion.

Little Boy Trauma Overload

2009-12-22T11:01:00.005-06:00

SPOILER ALERT (DEXTER)

Recently, in entertainment and real life, there seem to be a mass of stories about traumatized little boys. It's really getting me down. Would I be this affected if I had a girl? Here's the low down:

Fiction

The Road - I tried to prove MacDad wrong and read this book. I got about 60 pages in and realized it was just too depressing. Maybe I'll pick it up again over the holiday (doubt it -- it's already back on the bookshelf), but I couldn't help but picture MacDad and MacBaby trudging through an apocalyptic nightmare without me. Why anyone (MacDad -- I'm talking to you) would want to see this play out on the big screen is beyond me.
Dexter - Two nights ago I had a Trinity nightmare. Not kidding. Then, last night, as I was innocently watching The Sing-Off, the kid that Trinity kidnapped showed up on a fast food commercial. There is no escaping the terror that was the season finale. Fast food boy escaped unscathed, thanks to Dexter, but the cycle of awfulness continues with poor Harrison. Perhaps this affected me so much because little MacBaby was sleeping peacefully next to me while I was watching the horror unfold. Again, in this scenario, the mom is absent while the dad and son (I'm presuming) will navigate their way in the world. An aside about Dexter -- it's interesting that he says he and Harrison are both "born in blood." Aren't we all? Is it being "born in blood" twice that gives one serial killer tendencies?

Real Life

A man inserted more than 40 sewing needles into his step son in an effort to kill him to spite the boy's mother. I cannot fathom why a person would do this. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about. Thank goodness the mom realized that something was up and sought help.
I don't know what's going on in the Southern Hemisphere, but David Goldman's heartbreaking journey to regain custody of his son. This time, a father and son separated for years because of his (now deceased -- again!) mother's actions. I hope they are reunited and can live happily ever after.
Finally, and even more heartbreaking, a two year old drowns while his mom is Tweeting. There's a lot of talk on the internet about "judging" others, so I won't judge this particular case because I don't know all the details, but I will say that I can't understand moms who are constantly Twittering. It would seem that they Tweet while driving, preparing family meals and putting their children to bed. This makes me nervous. I can barely manage to keep MacBaby from taking a nose dive at any given moment. I couldn't imagine running a household while constantly broadcasting our goings on. Not to mention, does anyone really care/need to know how many diapers I change in a day.

It's enough to put the boy in a bubble until he's 18, or maybe even 21.

So, world at large. How about some happy stories involving a little guy? Those in lost in hot air balloons need not apply!

Postpartum Depression - Not Just For Moms Anymore

2009-12-08T09:09:00.003-06:00

According to this article in the New York Times, new dad can experience postpartum depression, too. One study on the subject cites that "4 percent of fathers had clinically significant depressive symptoms within eight weeks of the birth of their children." I haven't really thought of this before, but it makes sense.

Women start mentally and physically preparing for motherhood the minute we find out we're pregnant. We're tired and can't drink, so pregnancy already necessitates a life-style change. Fathers are on the sideline while the moms grow, and start bonding, with their babies. Yes, many dads are very involved, but seeing your child once or twice through an ultrasound and feeling him do daily somersaults in your stomach are very different.

Through labor and delivery, and once the newborn arrives, much of the attention is still on the moms. If a baby is breastfed exclusively, a dad is unable even to feed his new child. Adding to that pressure to keep the family financially stable, lack of sleep and less intimacy, I could see how this could cause alienation and depression.

Thanks to the New York Times for bringing awareness to this issue. The author suggests psychotherapy and antidepressants as solutions. Although neither MacDad and I suffered postpartum depression, we did experience growing pains with the addition of our new family member. As such, I would include time as a healing factor. New born babies are hard. In my experience, it gets easier.

All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

2009-12-07T10:30:00.002-06:00

I have to imagine that this is what MacBaby is thinking right now, even though he's probably not cognizant of "Christmas" or "teeth." At eight and a half months-old, he has two tiny white specks sticking out of his bottom gums. The development of these buds occurred about two weeks ago.

MacDad and I wonder how his teeth will change his smile and if he'll look goofy with two lone teeth. While I don't obsessively wonder about my son's dental development during my waking life, sometime I dream that he smiles, revealing a whole set of pearly whites. Strange.

In the meantime, he enjoys holding tubes of toothpaste and thinks that when we brush our teeth it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. So, I bought him his very own baby toothbrush. He enjoys chewing on it. Hopefully this leads to good dental hygiene practices. Soon enough, he'll be standing beside us at the sink, brushing his own teeth. For now, we still get a kick out of his gummy grin.

Required Reading for Dads

2009-11-18T15:31:00.002-06:00

Guest post from MacDad:

So I'm in an airport. Tired, mentally bankrupt, fighting back a cold, and nothing to look forward to except the next several lost hours spent being queued through anonymous glass and steel corridors and into an airborne, aluminum tube full of meat before I get back to the family at home. And then I do something I wouldn't normally do. I buy a paperback and start reading it.

I finished it later that night. I was home, and although the world was quiet, I had an immediate need to find my sleeping wife and son, to touch them and to feel that that they were real and safe and that I had done my job for the day.

The book is The Road. I don't think I'm going to see the film when it comes out next week. There is something pure and unspoiled in the bleak landscape of words that Cormac Mccarthy has assembled. There is something untouchable in the tenderness between the unnamed father and son.

My wife wonders what's different about this book to me, and why I finished it when I leave so many others halfway through. For a new father, this is the story that lays plain all of the undecorated love and horror that I normally keep safely to myself. I don't expect her to like the book.

I Have No Idea What Happened To My Placenta, but I Can Guarantee It Didn't Become This

2009-11-10T14:32:00.004-06:00

The headline to this story is Placenta Teddy Bear: Meaningful or Just Gross? I vote for Just Gross and, yes, that's it to the right. All together now - EW!

I asked MacDad if he sneaked a look at MacBaby's nine-month source of nourishment. He said no. So, really, I have no idea what happened to it after they took it out.

But, I will use this opportunity to plug (ha) cord blood donation. Unless you're planning on privately banking your cord blood, there really is no down side to donating. The only difference in your delivery is that the nurse collected an extra couple vials of blood before I delivered. If your child needs the marrow before it is donating, he or she will receive it.

The organization I donated to called after MacBaby was born to let me know that my umbilical cord supplied an ample amount of material to work with. We will find out if any child in need ever receives it. In the meantime, I will not be getting any tattoos in case MacBaby#2 comes along and I donate a second time.

Wherein I Admit I Can't Do It All - Or Sometimes Anything

2009-11-05T10:13:00.007-06:00

People tell you that your life will change after you have kids, but you don't realize just how much until you're living it.

During the past seven and a half months, I've uttered the phrase "I can't do everything!" more times than I can count. Some days, though, I struggle with getting anything done, let alone everything.

When you realize you're out of diapers, your child has one clean pair of pants, and there's no food in the house, I call in the reinforcements. Running our household has gone from something I could handle by myself to easily a three person job. Luckily, MacBaby's grandparents and aunts and uncles live conveniently close by and are (usually) happy to come over and help so I don't have a nervous breakdown (she said while putting a dirty bib in the fridge - not the washing machine).

Aside from working, household tasks, and ensuring that MacBaby is taken care of, I have no idea how to fit anything else into my life. The half-hour of daily exercise needed to keep your heart healthy? Yeah, right. Hanging out with friends? Sure - come on over and watch me wipe banana off the little guy's face.

The issue I struggle with the most is date night. It's always a nice time when MacDad and I escape two hours for a nice dinner with a couple of glasses of wine, but I still feel guilty for leaving MacBaby at home. Especially when it's so easy to stay in and cuddle with him.

I know he's in good care with family members, but I don't know how often we should go out a deux or what time of night.

Typically I prefer Saturday nights because we're with him all day, and will still have another day before we head back to work. If we go out at 6, we come back in time to put him to bed, but we're missing awake time with him. If we go out at 7, he'll likely be asleep and won't miss us, but that arduous task is left to other family members.

How do you fit it all in? When do you and your partner spend time together?

A Budding Bookworm?

2009-11-03T10:35:00.001-06:00

MacDad and I are avid readers. Or, at least I used to be.

We introduced MacBaby to books days after he came home from the hospital. Now, he loves them. Banging on them, that is.

MacDad has been reading The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain. Every night, MacBaby grabs the book and tries to beat up Mark Twain.

We try to read Goodnight Moon, which, from adult perspective, is a very strange book, but that's for another post. Instead of listening to the story, MacBaby pounds on the kittens with mittens.

Instead of realizing that MacBaby is at the stage where he likes to bang on everything -- my head included -- I have decided that MacBaby has inherited our love of books.

He also loves to watch MacDad make us dinner, therefore he will be a talented chef. He likes to play with his stuffed whale, therefore he will be a marine biologist. He loves his music class, therefore he will someday shred a mean guitar. He'll sit and watch a baseball game, therefore he will one day win a Golden Glove.

It will be interesting to see, which, if any, of these predictions will come true. In the meantime, it's fun to watch him create his own path in the world. I never knew that, even at seven months, he'd be on his way.

Trick or Treat, Give My Parents Something Good to Eat?

2009-10-26T14:40:00.003-05:00

With Halloween less than a week away, MacFamily finally bought pumpkins for carving. Other preparations have been made by ordering a personalized treat bag (MacBaby's real name not depicted) and purchasing a black and orange shirt that reads "Candy Pirate. Surrender Ye Candy." He will be wearing this shirt every day this week, since it will never again fit him.

We have decided not to dress him in a costume, since, as we like to say around our house, he's a baby, not a clown. When he's old enough to assert what he would like to wear, he can wear a costume. In the meantime, we're not going to dress him as Yoda or a car freshener.

I do think it would be fun to take him to a few neighbor's houses for trick or treating. However, since he has no teeth, will they just assume that we're in it to get candy for ourselves?

How you do handle Halloween with your two-foot terror?

Biology vs. Reality

2009-10-19T10:59:00.002-05:00

October is National Work and Family Month and as such there's a lot of talk on the internets about women in the workplace.

An article on MSNBC today remarks that finding childcare falls to the mom, even when both parents work full time. Those in favor of work-life initiatives argue that men need to step up in fighting for the cause. I agree, both parties should be responsible for all aspects of parenting. But, there's one problem -- biology.

Even before our children our born, the balance of power is automatically set up so that women are "in charge" of child rearing. We grow children in our bodies. If we choose to breastfeed, we are the sole providers of nutrition for up to a year. I believe this sets up the inequality that women continue to face as they raise their children.

In a perfect world, I would love for my biology to reign over reality. If I stayed hom, MacBaby would never receive formula, could sleep according to his biological clock and would not be rushed out of the house five days a week when he would prefer more time in his Johnny Jump Up.

But, the reality is, I'm a working mom. I want to invest in my 401(k) and save to help MacBaby with his college tuition. I work now for our family's future.

I hope awareness to these issues will result in more flexibility work environments. The results would benefit moms, kids and dads. I just hope our biology doesn't stand in our way.

Don't Blame Me, Blame My Brain

2009-10-16T09:49:00.003-05:00

This week, I was running low on gas. After work, I decided to stop at the gas station before I picked up MacBaby from my parent's house. Stopping on the way home would just prolong his screaming in the car.

Instead of driving past my parent's house the one block to go to the gas station, I pulled into their driveway. On my ten minute commute from work, I forgot where I was going.

I went inside and fed MacBaby, then went to fill up the car. As I was pulling out of the gas station, a man waved me down. I forgot to put the cap back on the gas tank and close its door. Not that this was the first time I neglected to put the cap back on, but on this particular occasion, I blame my baby brain.

The woman's brain shrinks three to five percent during pregnancy and supposedly extracts within six months of giving birth. I'm still waiting. . .

Why I Hate Ricki Lake

2009-10-09T09:32:00.003-05:00

This is the post I've been meaning to write since I started this blog.

Despite my wretched morning sickness, tendency to pick up viruses and huge feet, I had a normal pregnancy until my 37th week. I began to feel dizzy at work on a Wednesday and went pregnancy triage center at the hospital where I would give birth. There, the staff took my blood pressure and looked for protein in my urine. All signs pointed to preclampsia.

I went to my scheduled doctor's appointment the next day and she recommended I stop working and stay on "couch rest." By Friday, they recommended inducing me, which I declined, wanting to bake the baby a little longer. On Monday, I went to another scheduled doctor's appointment when she told me that I would not get another week out of the pregnancy. Ok, then, we decided, let's get it on with.

MacDad and I went home, showered, gathered our hospital gear, went to a nice dinner and headed back to the maternity ward. My inducement started at 11 p.m. that night with pitocin and a cervix softener.

We got nowhere fast. The next afternoon, I finally dilated to 5 and my water broke on its own. Through the night, though, there was no progress and by 4 a.m. they declared it time for a c-section. Although I was scared, I was just as scared for a vaginal delivery and though that my doctor was advising me to do what was in the best interest for me and my baby.

Less than two hours later, MacBaby was breastfeeding like a champ. He did not descend because of his size (22 inches, 8 lbs and 14 oz) and moreover, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck several times. Who knows what would have happened if we had insisted on a vaginal delivery. I still feel the induction and c-section were the right calls. I'm of the "better safe than sorry" mindset.

Fast forward a few weeks. MacDad was out of town and I was up with my newborn. Flipping channels, I found The Business of Being Born.

Ricki Lake, a huge proponent of midwives and home births, produced the film. The documentary followed women who opted out of hospital births and cited worrisome statistics about rising c-section deliveries. Perhaps more doctors are performing c-sections for convenience sake, but I take issue with the doctor quoting as saying that women who have c-sections don't have the same rush of love hormones for their children and therefore all of humanity is in the crapper. Way to help a new mom feel bad about herself.

Yes, my son was pulled out of my stomach and not down there, but I can only imagine that I love him no less. Ironically, the director of the film, who was pregnant during the making of the movie, planned a home birth, but had a hospital birth because of complications.

So, Ricki Lake, while home birth may have worked for you, don't hate on those who have hospital births. We're still good mothers. We still love our children.

What Goes Around Comes Around

2009-10-08T13:26:00.005-05:00

Last year, I sported one of MacDad's sweatshirts. The green hoodie, he informed me, had been around since his high school days. At that time, he said, he couldn't have imagined his pregnant wife wearing it.

We have a blanket in our living room I purchased on a whim several years ago at a Pier 1 outlet. The soft, fuzzy and deeply discounted addition is now one of MacBaby's favorites. If you had told me when I bought it that my future six-month-old son would love to languish on it, I would have given you a big eye roll, accompanied by a "whatever."

It's so strange the things we have in our lives that take on new significance as our family grows. I wonder if there's a twinkle in my eye that will some day get a kick out of a rug that we have yet to purchase or a soft sweater we have yet to wear.

Start Your Week With a Twist

2009-10-05T09:44:00.004-05:00

Slate is featuring Freaky Fortnight in which a staff member is swapping places with his stay at home/freelance writer wife. It should be an interesting read.

While MacDad and I both work, his job is more rigorous and I would not want to change places with him, nor he would he be interested in that prospect. He frequently travels and every time I grill him with "what would you do if I was out of town for a week," he responds with "you can't."

I look forward to following this experiment and seeing how each spouse responds to the shoe on the other foot.

While you're on the site, Slate hosts a weekly discussion of Mad Men. It's sad that I need one of my favorite shows explained to me, but they do a thorough job.

Happy Monday!

Around the Web

2009-10-01T10:32:00.003-05:00

A closer look at the demographics making up stay at home moms. Apparently, they're young, uneducated and ethnic. So, I guess I fit in with other older, educated white working moms? Only read the comments if you want to know how the yahoos think.
We just got a jogging stroller. According to this article, now we actually have to start jogging to be fit. Wah.
Diapers are now being used to sell toys. I have to admit, I did think it was weird that Elmo was on newborn MacBaby's tiny diaper, especially since he couldn't even see that far.
Tips on H1N1 and pregnancy.
A dad takes his five year old to McDonald's for the first time. MacDad and I agree that MacBaby will not be eating there anytime soon. It was good to read about this issue, which I'm sure will come up as there's one right down the street from our house.
Pregnancy, weight gain and body image issues. Been there, sister.
And, more intersection of obsessions - Mad Men on Sesame Street

Watching Television Through a New Lens

2009-10-01T09:18:00.002-05:00

Being a new parent changes your perspective on a lot of things, including my favorite television shows. (Potential spoilers ahead.)

On Mad Men, a big development this season is the addition of Eugene Scott to the Draper household. After a horrifying birthing experience, Betty is now home with the little guy. In Sunday's episode, Don was off with Sally watching an eclipse and hitting on her teacher. Betty was busy flirting with a politician and subsequently writhing on a fainting couch.

Pre-baby, I may have been able to go along with some suspended belief, but I kept thinking, where is the baby? They showed a stroller once in the kitchen, but we heard nary a "wah" from the little guy. I know Mad Men has more important issues to tackle than the intricacies of diaper changing in 1963, but at least integrate Eugene/Scott into the family a little bit.

I finally caught up with Dexter Tuesday night, who also welcomed a son, Harrison. The plot of the first episode centered around Dexter's sleep deprivation. He stays up late with his three month old. Two things occurred to me: Rita, Dexter's wife, must not be breast feeding and three month old aren't up for hours in the middle of the night. So, there goes the set up for the whole season.

Further along in the episode, Rita tries to start some hanky panky with Dexter. Ha! Oh, Hollywood. You are too funny! Like that would ever happen with a three month old under the roof, not to mention their other two kids. Are there ANY women in the writer's room?

Although I would never shoot my son as punishment, Modern Family seems more realistic. Like last night, when one of the dads checked to see if his wife was in the room before declaring himself the head of the household.

Not every show has to emulate real life, but it's nice to be able to relate to characters and situations once in while. If we ever get to the point where Curb Your Enthusiasm mirrors our life, I know we're in trouble.

Observations and Advice Needed

2009-09-29T09:45:00.002-05:00

Don'tcha hate it when your baby is sound asleep and you're awake for no apparent reason staring at him or her (or in the case of some twins him and her)? That happened to me Saturday night. There's nothing like being awake when you really should be sleeping to irritate a person.

In other news, MacBaby is, as his dad tells him every night during dinner, a good eater. So far we have checked off the food list avocados, bananas, carrots, peas and squash. All are quite popular with the little dude, except for the carrots, which we may not have prepare to be mushy enough. Apples are on the menu for later this week. What other foods are baby appropriate to give him? I looked at the baby food jars at the grocery store for inspiration, but these did not yield any new ideas.

Our final issue - saliva. I think MacBaby is teething. He's drooling so much that his chin is getting irritated and turning red. Any advice on how to prevent this? And, what do I put on it after it gets red?

Thank you, in advance, for sharing your parenting expertise.

Weird, Wild and Wacky Baby News

2009-09-24T15:31:00.003-05:00

A woman gets pregnant while pregnant, so, apparently it's possible.
A woman in Indonesia gave birth to the largest baby on record at 19.2 pounds. That had to hurt.
This one's not so weird, just good to know - there's a recall for Baby Tylenol.

I Have Shissues

2009-09-22T13:17:00.002-05:00

Now that I can fit back into the majority of my wardrobe, I've encountered a new problem - shissues = shoe issues.

While I was pregnant, I my regular shoes stopped fitting after about month 6. I thought my feet were just swollen, but now that I'm out of flip-flops and into the closed toe variety with the onset of fall, I've learned that my feet actually grew. Only one of them is back to size.

I have different sized feet. "What does this mean for your shoe collection?" asked an observant and fiscally weary MacDad. Some shoes are still fine. Some give me blisters before I even leave the house. When buying new shoes, I either have one foot that fits perfects and the other is scrunched, or I have one foot that fits perfectly and the other is too big.

Can you buy a pair of shoes with two sizes? Anyone else have this issue?

Flu Season Comes to a Boil

2009-09-16T13:29:00.003-05:00

The Lillith Blog (a feminist, Jewish Web site) has a post today on chicken soup. A vegetarian reluctantly gets pulled back into carnivorous ways via a pot of chicken soup prepared for her sick children. The author puts cauliflower into the soup, causing outrage from her mother. "It's supposed to be a clear broth! That's the whole point! Have I taught you nothing?"

The chicken soup controversy has made its way into our house as well. In the past when MacDad has feigned illness (cough . . . I'm sick. . . cough), he has been severely disappointed in me that instead of making him chicken soup from scratch, I get some from my parents freezer that my mother has made from scratch at some point during the last decade and stockpiled for such occasions.

My refusal to touch raw poultry should have been a clue to him that I was not eager to whip up a pot, but he was relentless that I learn how. If not for him, then for our (at the time) future children who deserve to be consoled by the Jewish penicillin.

When I've been sick (actually sick) MacDad has been kind enough to make a pot of chicken soup from scratch. But, he does it wrong and I don't like it. The Italian in him adds too much flavor.

Perhaps this could be the silver lining during this flu season. I contribute to the food-making in our family via chicken soup. If it happens I'll post a pick. You'll need to see it to believe it.

Stuff

2009-09-15T11:26:00.002-05:00

Time's Cheapskate Blog delves into unnecessary baby items.

It's true. You really don't need much stuff when your baby first arrives. Blankets, onesies diapers and wipes are your basic necessities. Somehow, as the child grows, they accumulate more stuff. MacBaby has a lot of toys thanks to his grandparents. MacDad gave him an empty Wheat Thins box yesterday and he was perfectly content to play with it.

I will argue for one item on the Cheapskate Blog - the video monitor. The three times MacBaby has slept on the floor without one of us in attendance we have used it. Once we even plugged it in to our television in the family room and used our sleeping baby as entertainment during a dinner party.

Someone in the comments also mentions that a robe is useless, but MacBaby does have one of those and, I have to admit, wears it quite well.

What are items you wish you had skipped? What can't you live without?

Baby Talk

2009-09-11T09:45:00.004-05:00

When you're pregnant, people throw the word "cervix" around like they're talking about the weather.

Apparently, when you're expecting, and after you've given birth, your private parts make for public conversation topics. Other often spoken, but still awkward baby buzz words include breast, uterus, placenta, effacement and of course, vaginal.

The most cringe inducing word to me is - I can't even write it - n-i-p-p-l-e. I had to come up with another word for what goes on the top of the baby bottles. I will talk about breastfeeding all day long, but will not refer to that part of my breasts.

Does this make me immature? Perhaps. But for some reason, I'm just uncomfortable talking about. . . those. . . in public.

What words make you shudder? Or are you immune to the anatomical lexicon?

We Have the Force

2009-09-09T10:33:00.003-05:00

Here's a great article from Newsweek about helping minority kids change the perception of what's cool when it comes to education.

In addition to citing a touching story, it reminds me of just how much parents, educators and mentors can shape the minds of the little ones. Parents spend much time talking about how their kids don't listen, but this anecdote proves that sometimes they do.

With this power comes much responsibility. While MacBaby is still little enough that we can curse around him, soon we'll have to change this habit, along with other bad ones. It's daunting to think that your children model their behavior after you. I hope I can do right by him. If the first words out of his mouth are s**t, it will be an indication that I still have some work to do.

Parenthood: A 6 Month Retrospective

2009-09-03T08:09:00.003-05:00

Now, that MacBaby is almost six months old, MacDad and I shared the best and most challening parts of being a parent during this half year.

We both agreed that scheduling is our biggest challenge at this point. The little dude likes to go to sleep by 8 p.m. so dinner and a bath have to be accomplished by 7:30. No more flitting about town for us (unless we dump him with the grandparents).

MacDad said teaching MacBaby about the world was the most exciting thing for him. I responded with baby hugs - meaning when MacBaby gives me little hugs. What I was getting at is the intense amount of love I feel for him and, I like to think, he feels for me.

What are your biggest challenges and what do you love about being a parent? If you're not one yet, but plan on having children in the future, what are you most looking forward to?

What is a "Wife" Anyway

2009-09-02T14:20:00.003-05:00

A friend sent me this article from the NYT. Two married women struggle with what to call one another. Interestingly, the article mentions this essay, entitled "Why I Want a Wife"written by Judy Syfers in 1971. The article was originally published in Ms. magazine and distributed in my 9th grade honors English class.

I don't know what my 14 year old self must have thought of the article. I couldn't get a date to homecoming, so the thought of being a "wife" seemed like it was a long way off.

Now, though, re-reading the essay, I'm glad my domestic duties began nearly 40 years after it was written. I would have been really lousy maintaining all the responsibilities the author outlines. Though in some ways "modern" women have more expected of us as many of us also have full-time jobs, it's my contention that we also get more help around the house from our partners.

I've discussed this before, but MacDad is largely, if not entirely, in charge of all the family food preparation that is not supplied by my mamary glands. The chores I take sole responsibility for, I do because I like the way I do it. (The man carries around an unnecessary number of Sharpies which occasionally go through the wash if the pockets are not checked thoroughly. Thus, I do the laundry.)

MacDad is out of town for work, so this morning, I had to get MacBaby ready and out of the house in addition to making myself presentable. This seemed an arduous task, and yet MacDad does it every morning without complaint. So, props to him and all the other partners helping their "wives."

Crazies at the Grocery Story

2009-09-01T11:15:00.004-05:00

Last week at the grocery story, TWO middle aged women engaged me in long conversations about MacBaby and both thought touching him was a good idea.

While I wouldn't go so far as to hang this on my child, I do wish there was a way to let strangers know that it's ok to look but not touch.

First of all, it's just weird. I thought it was weird when people talked to me at length when I was pregnant, but apparently that doesn't stop once you have baby. A woman working at a store I shopped in even called him chubby the other day. She had no room to talk. Also, MacBaby isn't chubby, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I don't want to talk to strangers and I certainly don't want to tell them intimate details about the inner workings of my body or my family. Why do you care what I would have named a girl if I had one?

Secondly -- germs. This is a particularly bad time for germ-a-phobes like myself. I desperately do not want my child to get swine flu. I don't know where your hands have been and if they've ever seen the likes of soap, so don't touch my kid.

Here's how neurotic I am: there's a play group tonight at our community early childhood center. I will take the boy, but I don't want him to touch any of the toys.

Am I crazy or do I am I taking a normal amount of precautions? Before you judge, let me also add that I work down the hall from a doctor's office and I've taken more sick days in the past two years than in my 10 years worth of previous jobs combined. This includes a three week suffering from mono.

Daughter's Hair Has Friend in Knots

2009-08-31T09:35:00.002-05:00

A friend is dealing with a hairy situation. Her two and a half month old daughter twists her hair when falling asleep. Each morning, it takes my friend fifteen minutes to comb out the tangles in her daughter's hair. With another baby on the way, this is not time she has to spare during her morning routine. How can she stop her daughter from working her hair into knots? Advice needed.

What's Fer Dinner?

2009-08-25T07:37:00.002-05:00

MacDad and I have begun making our way through this list of simple salads. Because we are dorks, we are rating our interest for each dish (taking the average score on a 1 - 5 scale) and then assigning a score after we've tried the salad. So far, #2 gets a 5. Highly recommended.

Love Hurts

2009-08-25T07:30:00.002-05:00

I have made my child bleed twice, both times with the same nasty implement: nail clippers. MacDad believed my "obsession for hygiene" was injuring the dude, but now he's suffering the consequence of letting the little one's fingers grow. The entire MacFamily looks like we own a feral cat. There are tiny scratches all over our faces.

There is no good time to cut MacBaby's fingernails, and, when I actually do find a good time to do it, I still have a hard time ensuring that my work is even and smooth. When he was first born, a nurse recommended I bite them off, which worked for a while. But, now they're sturdier and MacBaby is wigglier.

Any tips for baby manicures? Should I just take him to Beautiful Nails with me?

Put Your Money Where Your Onesie Is

2009-08-20T11:21:00.000-05:00

From BusinessWeek:

Gymboree (GYMB)

Oppenheimer upgrades to outperform from perform

Oppenheimer analyst Robert Samuels upgraded Gymboree on Aug. 20, saying that its Crazy 8 clothing stores division could double its store base and become profitable in 2010. Samuels also said Gymboree "seems to now be toying with the idea of international expansion" for Crazy 8.

The company's strong balance sheet and good stock value are "too compelling to ignore," he said.

"The (back-to-school) season seems to be starting off strong and, in classic GYMB style, we expect that the company will continue to come up with innovative and creative ways to drive traffic and offer compelling promotions," Samuels said.

Samuels raised his 2009 profit estimate for the company to $3.31 per share and for 2010 to $3.70 per share. Analysts polled by Thomson Reuters expect profit of $3.25 in the year that ends in January and $3.54 in the year that ends January 2011.

The Sleep Situation

2009-08-20T08:42:00.002-05:00

This sleeping situation came up yesterday in the comments, so I thought I would post about it. Honestly, I don't think it's going very well. My plan pre-birth was to have him sleeping in his own room by the time I went back to work. Didn't happen.

Apparently, I subscribe somewhat to the Attachment Parenting theory. In our house, this is also referred to as "smother mother," or simply, "Jewish mother."

The way this has played out in MacBaby's sleeping habits is that he sleeps in the bed with us. At first, we chose this route not out of any sort of defined parenting techniques -- I simply needed to get some sleep and the dude would NOT sleep in his Pack 'n Play.

Then, things got better and he would sleep in his Pack 'n Play until about midnight. But, then he started rolling from his back to his stomach and everything went haywire again. In his sleep, he would roll and wake up and cry.

I suppose I could leave him in there to cry himself to sleep, but, in the big picture, he's still a little baby. They say that all babies are born premature compared to other species who pop out rearing to go. So, by that logic, he didn't really come into his own until three months, which means he's really only been an alert human being for two months.

At some point, he will sleep in his own crib, in his own room. As for the how and when, your guess is as good as mine.

Planning for Maternity Leave

2009-08-19T12:48:00.003-05:00

Here's a good article about setting your and your employers expectations for maternity leave. I told my boss I was pregnant rather early in case she was wondering why I was looking pale and running to the bathroom all the time.

How Often Should We Bathe Baby?

2009-08-19T07:49:00.003-05:00

Since we started Feeding MacBaby rice cereal in the evenings, our lives have become more complicated. The rice cereal-eating has to be coordinated with our dinner. I try to do them at the same time, but inevitably, MacBaby is done eating before we are. This presents a problem since MacBaby is a big mess by the time he finishes his "dinner." There is far more food on his face than in his gullet.

I give him a wipedown, but it would be more convenient to put him directly into the tub, which raises the question in the title of this post. We were bathing MacBaby every other night on the recommendation of the pediatrician. But with advent of rice cereal I feel as though it is now necessary on a nightly basis, lest he go to sleep with rice cereal in his hair.

How often do you bathe your little one? Is nightly too much? An additional question - what shampoo/soap do you use? I was determined not to use these cancer causing agents, but was given them as gifts. I'm planning on switching to organic after they run out.

Working Moms (and Dads) Want to Play Too

2009-08-17T07:49:00.002-05:00

I realize I've been posting quite a bit about being a working mom, but just bear with me with this final post on the topic and I'll try to find something else to talk about :)

When I went back to work, I was desperate to find a class or playgroup for MacBaby and I to do together during an evening or weekend. This, it seemed, was an almost impossible task. All fun things for babies and mommies are during the work day. I find this strange for two reasons: 1) I know very few stay at home moms, but these classes are all catered to them and 2) Apparently working dads are incidental in child rearing to early childhood centers.

I finally found one class that I signed up for held one evening a week starting in the fall, but they have yet to confirm my registration due to low participation numbers.

But! MacDad and I successfully took MacBaby to his first parent-child participatory class yesterday - Kidz Rock. The class is geared toward kids zero - five, which turns out to be a fairly substantial age difference. MacBaby was the littlest rocker in the class. He alternated between enthralled and totally freaked. The teacher was all for his participation, though so we'll keep at it. He did get to bang on a drum for a few minutes and seemed to really enjoy that.

Really, it made me feel good being able to take my child to a class that will hopefully be good for his cognitive development and perhaps may lead to him shredding a mean guitar at some point.

The Definition of TMI

2009-08-11T14:08:00.002-05:00

The wife of Twitter's CEO is twittering her labor according to this article.

After MacBaby safely arrived into the world, I realized MacDad twittered the experience. This annoyed. And, he did NOT need to share with the world that I OCCASIONALLY watched Oprah during my maternity leave. Some things were just between me and my newborn baby.

We have a new rule in our house: cell phone usage, for emailing, twittering, talking and internet searching is prohibiting. Much the way that growing up, we didn' t eat in front of the tv, we're not going to spend our family time hooked up to electronic devices. While we sometimes like to tweet/blog about food, no one is dying to know that we're having steamed salmon for dinner while we're eating it.

I'm all for social media as a world-wide think tank, but at some point, you should just let technology go (this blog included) and live your life.

Exciting New Developments in the Life of MacBaby

2009-08-11T13:35:00.002-05:00

1) MacBaby now recognizes me, smiles and gets excited when I visit him at lunch. Perhaps it's because he knows he's going to eat, but I'll take it.

2) The rice cereal eating is progressing. Last night, in addition to still spitting most of it out, he reached for spoon and was excited to take more bites, which eventually landed on his lap. He is well on his way to becoming a foodie, possibly a master chef.

It's the little things in life. . .

I Read the Internets So You Don't Have To

2009-08-10T16:09:00.002-05:00

More Disses for Working Moms

2009-08-10T10:49:00.001-05:00

As if it's not bad enough that my kid realizes when I leave in the morning now and expresses his disappointment with a disconcerted look on his face, The Huffington Post adds to my guilt.

This article states:

As psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth showed in their research, a child needs a 'secure base' in his early years before launching out to explore the world. A strong attachment to his parents in his first years will give a child emotional maturity and a healthy mental development. Otherwise, his social and emotional development will not be normal.

So, my choices are to work to provide food, clothing and shelter for an emotionally stunted child or be bonded to my normal child who goes barefoot because we can't afford to buy him shoes.

Ok. I admit it's not that dramatic. I'm just trying to make a point.

The subject of the article does make an exception for those who have to work.

I'm not talking about mothers that need to work for financial reasons. I'm talking about women who are so caught up in the pressures of society and in their ambitions that they are not brave enough to suspend their careers for their children's sake.

Is there a distinction to your child when he's five months old? It's not like you can explain to him, "I would really like to stay home with you all day, but I'd really like to contribute to your 529, too."

I get her point that there is should be no stigma attached to staying home (see earlier post), but if you're working to achieve financial goals for the betterment of your family, that should be acceptable too. Hopefully my "emotionally stunted" child will thank me when we foot the bill for his college education.

Hi. I'm a Mom. And I Can Have Adult Conversations. FYI.

2009-08-10T08:08:00.004-05:00

This weekend, the MacFamily Unit were out and about and ran into some friends at a coffee shop. MacDad was walking around with MacBaby and left me at a table with two gentleman I had never met. The two engaged in conversation, asking one another about their occupations. No one at the table bothered to ask me what I did or my opinion about anyting they were talking about. This annoyed. Big time.

Was I wearing an unattractive nursing bra? Yes. Did I have spit-up on my skirt? Yes. Does this discount me from using my brain? No. Perhaps they assumed that I'm a stay at home mom, which is a fine assumption. I have no issues with stay at home moms and aspire to be one some day (*sigh*).

But, even if I did stay at home, I'm still college educated and pay attention to current events (pop cuture and actual news both). But, I do work and my work is directly related to one of the guy's career plans. Too bad he didn't bother to ask.

And, for all you dudes out there who think taking care of a baby isn't work, I beg to differ. It is far more challenging, physically and mentally, than sitting in an office all day. And, more rewarding to boot.

Have any other mothers out there had an experience where your opinion was automatically discounted because you're just a mom? Did it annoy you as much as it annoyed me?

You Annoy Me Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man

2009-08-05T07:22:00.002-05:00

I realize that this story may make me sound like a nutbag. I'm ok with that.

MacDad frequently travels for work. We have a routine of speaking frequently in the evenings. Last night, he was in Txxxxxx, CT. We spoke after I was done with work and MacBaby and I fell asleep around 9 o'clock (yes, this is my new bed time. I'm ok with that, too.).

I woke up around 11 realizing I hadn't heard from MacDad. I tried his phone, but voicemail picked up after one ring. I surmised it was off and had probably run out of battery. I decided to track down his hotel. My internet search came up with one hotel in Txxxxxxx, CT. I called the Marriott there and Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man told me MacDad was not staying there.

More internet searches led me to hotels in various surrounding cities, but I was fairly sure these were incorrect. I called back to the original Marriott, thinking perhpas they didn't understand the spelling of the name. Again Mr. Hotel Front Desk man he was not there, and suggested other hotels.

Shortly after, MacDad called. He returned from a late night McDonald's run and was greeted by the Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man who told him he was in trouble because a lady was looking for him. This was the same man who referred me to other hotels knowing this information was incorrect. I can only assume he was bored and had to find a way to entertain himself.

MacDad alerted him that it was his wife (me) calling. Apparently Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man did not connect me because I did not know his hotel room. This is their way of keeping "jilted lovers" at bay because "some people don't want to be found." What the hell kind of shady people live in Txxxxxx, CT?

Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man, I could have been calling about an emergency. I wasn't. But I could have been. You're lucky I wasn't. The next time a wife calls looking for her husband, PUT HER THROUGH TO THE DAMN ROOM! Sheesh.

Should I Move to France to Recevie Acceptable Maternity Benefits?

2009-08-04T09:15:00.004-05:00

This article in Newsweek points out that:

In the study of 173 countries, we stood with Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea as the only countries providing no paid maternity leave. Of the 169 countries that guarantee paid maternity leave, 98 of them provide 14 or more weeks. Among wealthy countries—except ours—parents are entitled to as much as 47 weeks of paid family leave.

Why is there not a bigger cry for maternity leave form in the U.S.? I suspect that it goes back to our puritanical roots and our country's "work ethic," in addition to the longtime dominance of the old white men. I could similarly write a whole post about getting a month of for vacation a la Europe, but that's for another time.

I truly believe, though, that reform is necessary. Speaking from my personal experience, my small office offers six weeks of short-term disability coverage. I coupled that with saved vacation days and financial savings to take an additional six weeks off. Though FMLA in larger organizations allows women to take 12 weeks, it does not provide income, making the time off impossible for many women. I was lucky to be able to take advantage of my office's coverage and to be able to plan accordingly for more time.

Why is this an important issue to me? The sooner women return to work, the less likely they are to continue breastfeeding. Although, not every woman opts to breastfeed, we should all have the choice, especially for the first six months of an infants life. According to the World Health Organization, this is the only nutrient necessary.

With my current work schedule, I work four days, then am off for a three day weekend. While I'm home, I am the sole provider of MacBaby's meals. If I didn't have to work, he would never receive formula. As it were, the pumping proved to be ridiculously time consuming, so he does take formula while I'm at work.

Again, I'm not saying everyone must breastfeed their children and that anything else is bad parenting, but we should at least be able to raise our children with our best intentions the way we see fit. The government should want that too.

What The?

2009-08-03T14:44:00.002-05:00

I'm all for breastfeeding, but this seems to be a bit much.

It's Not Like I Spend All My Time Watching MTV . . .

2009-08-02T13:22:00.004-05:00

But, I happened to catch an episode of True Life last night entitled "I'm Having Twins." This represents my nightmare. One of the featured couples had girl twins which is my WORST nightmare. I'm convinced girls are harder to raise than boys. I can't imagine having TWO of them at ONCE. Everytime I see twins out and about, I literally say out loud, "TWO!," in amazement.

I can only imagine that with twins you get zero sleep and can't get anything around the house done. This must require much additional help, especially if you have already procreated. I know a mom of twins who went out to get bagels after she brought her daughters home from the hospital and forgot the bagels at the bakery.

If you have twins, I am extremely awed by you. If I ever have twins, please plan on bringing me a casserole.

Flu Shots For Everyone!

2009-07-28T08:42:00.003-05:00

MacBaby and I both have a cold (his first), which only amplifies my constant fear of swine flu hitting the MacFamily household.

This article states that pregnant women are at greater risk of the flu and can suffer greater consequences. I'm a big fan of flu shots and I can also attest that pregnant women are likelier to get sicker than their non-pregnant counterparts. Last winter, I had a series of ailments that you do not want details about.

In summary, I and MacBaby will be getting flu/swine flu shots if/when available. And, wash your hands people!

Around the Web

2009-07-27T15:39:00.003-05:00

China potentially revisiting it's one child policy
Researching premie births
Gay adoption
A husband walks a mile in his wife's pregnant shoes (filled with swollen feet?)
A sippy cup comparison
Old moms
More on 16 and Pregnant

16 and Pregnant for your Viewing Pleasure

2009-07-27T09:26:00.004-05:00

On Thursday night, I watched the season finale of 16 and Pregnant on MTV hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky. I haven't seen every minute of each episode, but I got the gist of the series and was intrigued enough to check in on these girls who became moms at an early age.

Controversy exists over the series and whether or not it glorifies teen pregnancy. I felt like MTV portrayed the challenges and rewards honestly. The season finale, though, I thought was would have been more subtle only if Dr. Drew had a sledgehammer and to hit audience members over the head with while screaming, "don't have unprotected sex!"He clearly had an agenda to communicate.

Dr. Drew wanted the moms to admit that they made a mistake and regret getting pregnant and having a kid. While I'm sure these moms do think about how their lives have changed, their repentance would only negate the presence of their children.

I think the fifteen year olds in the audience, and those watching from home, are discerning enough to realize that having a child as a teenager will seriously complicate your life. Enough with making the girls cry. I would have been all for him slapping Farrah's mom, though.

The whole presentation of the finale was totally wanabee twee. Why did they have to steal The Flight of the Conchords music? I find it strange that they refer to those featured on the show as the "cast," like they auditioned for the part. It's not a cast! They're real people! This isn't The Hills!

Dr. Drew revealed there would be a season two. This, I approach skeptically. Since the show garnered a large audience, I hope that teenage girls aren't trying to get pregnant just to be on MTV. While I said earlier that teenagers can be discerning, they can also be calculating and publicity-crazed.

Finally, I wish that the people who adopted Catelynn's baby would have adopted her and Tyler too.

More on Breastfeeding

2009-07-23T11:07:00.001-05:00

The debate over breast versus bottle rages at the New York Times. The caption for the illustration cracks me up.

My New Favorite Parenting Site Speaks the Truth

2009-07-23T09:40:00.007-05:00

This dude is hilarious. I commend him for pointing out the one negative part of breastfeeding:

Unlike the absurdly judgmental authors of just about every baby book lying around the flat, I really have no opinion when it comes to breast vs. bottle feeding. However when I hear the "F" word, all my selfish instincts tell me one thing: the breast is better. The breast means I get to sleep most of the night.

When I say negative, I mean negative for me. Thank you, new dad, for admitting the truth. Dads love the breastfeeding because it absolves them from feeding responsibilities! The most uttered phrase from MacDad after MacBaby was born was "I think he's hungry." Sometimes this was true, sometimes not. Now, it's even less of an excuse since he's on more of a schedule for eating (every three hours).

While I didn't mind being solely responsible for feeding MacBaby during the day, after 10 p.m. it sucked. Once MacDad went back to work, the rational part of my brain said, "let him sleep, he has to get up in the morning." But, it is very hard to maintain this attitude at three a.m. while your spouse is snoring and you are staring at the clock watching one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock come and go.

Fortunately, our (my) sleep schedule has improved, and but I haven't more than four hours in a row since March 22, 2009. On the plus side, I haven't witnessed a sunrise in several months.

A friend suggested I would miss those quiet morning, listening to the birds begin to chirp and staring at my child wondering if he would ever fall back to sleep. I do not. Instead, I relish the time we have now, sleeping and cuddling side by side.

Proof That I'm Not Crazy

2009-07-22T15:33:00.002-05:00

The MacFamily Unit has two dogs. They used to roam the house freely, sometimes even sleeping in the bed with us (much to my chagrin).

Lately, they've been spending their time in the basement and in the back yard (they have a doggie door).

Here's why. This dog stole a baby from its crib and took it for a ride in the backyard. While I'm sure neither of our dogs would be this astute, from the first night in the hospital, I had nightmares about such incidents.

It's nice to know that I'm not making up that dogs could conceivably harm newborns.

Need Formula Because You're Physically Incapable of Breastfeeding? The Gov Says Bah.

2009-07-22T14:25:00.004-05:00

This article in Newsweek is interesting and timely, since the MacFamily Unit just set up our fexible spending account for the first time. The IRS refuses to add formula to the list of approved expenditures, even for a woman who had a double mascetomy and is physicall incabable of breastfeeding.

To recap: ovulation predictor kits - ok. The necessary-for-survival food with which you'll feed the eventual result of the ovulation predictor kit - not ok.

If you find this information unsettling, let your local Representative know.

Today is an Exciting Day for the MacFamily Unit

2009-07-21T19:05:00.005-05:00

Tonight we're taking MacBaby to the pediatrician for his 4th month checkup. I'm very curious as to whether we'll get the go ahead for solid foods. From what I've read, the little ones start with rice cereal between four and six months. I think MacBaby is exhibiting all the signs for readiness, but I'd be fine with him waiting another two months. He seems perfectly happy and is progressing into infanthood nicely. I don't want to rush things.

This newfound trait - patience - is something I've learned in the past four months.

When MacBaby got home from the hospital, I was anxious for him to put some meat on his bones. I wanted a sturdier baby, one less fragile. But now, the time is zooming by. He smiles and even laughs. He plays in his exersaucer, and gets annoyed when we take him out to play with us. He faces out in his stroller, content to watch the world instead of making eye contact with his parents. He'll be in college before I know it!

So, I'm content for him to exist on breastmilk (and eight bottles of formula per week) for the time being.

By the way, what are the best (actual) books on child development? I feel as though I should have a few more handy as a resource in addition to the all-knowing internets.

What's Fer Dinner?

2009-07-20T16:32:00.002-05:00

While I'm pondering what the MacFamily unit will be dining on tonight, I thought I'd share one of my favorite recipes, one-pot salmon with snap peas and rice, courtesy of Real Simple. Believe me, if I can do it, you can do it.

From Supermodel to Supermom

2009-07-20T08:04:00.005-05:00

On Saturday morning, a rare moment occurred in my household. MacDad and MacBaby napped together and I got a moment to myself! I took advantage of the time to read the latest issue of Vogue and learned about supermodel Christy Turlington's involvement in preventing international maternal deaths. According the the article, "half a million women die in childbirth every year, a figure that has changed little in 20 years." Her research led her to finance a documentary filmed in Bangladesh, Tanzania and Guatemala following mothers and their treatment during pregnancy. She's advocating for change while working with CARE's Mothers Matter program, in addition to raising her own two kids.

Pregnancy and childbirth are scary as is, I can't imagine facing these issues in an underdeveloped country. Thinking about my own experience, I'm certain that MacBaby would have suffered permanent damage had it not been for the expertise of the medical team treating me. I had a c-section because dilation was not progressing. When they took out MacBaby, they realized the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck three times. Thankfully, he was fine, but I thought for weeks about what could have happened.

I know I won't follow Christy Turlington's example and go back to school for my master's degree in public health, but I will continue learning about this important issues and determining how I can make a difference to moms and babies in need around the world.

Nekkid Time

2009-07-16T11:11:00.003-05:00

The New York Times addresses child nudity today, a topic that McDad and I discuss frequently and have set guidelines for.

For instance, we can take pictures of our baby nude and put them in an album, but we do not post them online or share them with others electronically. Someday, he will be a man and may be annoyed that his parents shared pictures of his bits with the world. We're trying to avoid that.

In real life, our child has yet to wear a pair of pants. I've wondered if he should don a pair, but McDad argued that he has the rest of his life to wear pants. Agreed. He will start wearing pants in September when it gets cooler and he's a little older. At nighttime, pajamas are unnecessary. MacBaby sleeps only in a diaper. He seems more comfortable that way and it gives his skin time to breathe. What about airing out his derriere? Unfortunately, he's got to keep tush covered for now as it can explode at any moment.

Funny story about that: soon after we returned from the hospital, McDad decided McBaby needed naked time. I tried to warn him that this was a terrible idea. Sure enough, he got pooped on. Lesson learned.

This topic also alludes to a time in my life which I'm dreading: having to be fully clothed myself. For now, since MacBaby literally survives on a product my body produces, I'm extremely lax about modesty in our household. I will be very sad the day I have to wear clothes around him. When will that happen do you think? Where's the balance between helping your child embrace the natural state and scarring him?

What's in my Diaper Bag?

2009-07-16T08:05:00.003-05:00

Please note: I do not have a "diaper bag." I carry around a large tote bag which currently contains the following:

Wallet
Sunglasses
Be Be Au Lait Nursing Cover
Small bag containing lip products and small brush
Ahava Mineral Hand Cream
Checkbook
Three size 3 pampers
Barrett
Camera
Two spare baby outfits
Huggies Soft Skin Baby Wipes (travel pack)
Burp cloth
Sun block
Cash totalling $6
Biodegradable diaper sacks
iPhone
Peek Bah Booh! book
Travel Diaper Changing Kit, which contains more wipes, but funnily enough, no diapers

I'm glad I did this. I had no idea all this crap was in there and found another lip gloss. I'm not savvy enough to carry a separate bag for when I'm not with baby, so I just schelp this stuff around all the time. Perhaps not the best system I'm realizing.

What's in your diaper bag?

Baby Brains

2009-07-15T11:19:00.002-05:00

According to ABC News, researchers believe fetuses at 30 works have some memory. If this is true, then MacBaby will surely recognize the words "ice cream," becuause I said them quite often at that point in my pregnancy.

Why is it Called Morning Sickness When it Lasts All Day (and night)?

2009-07-15T08:04:00.004-05:00

People say that after you have a baby you get amnesia about two things 1) first trimester morning sickness and 2) labor. Somehow, I remember details of each very well. As MacBaby turns four months old today*, I thought I would reminisce about how I was feeling a year ago.

Last summer, I went to visit friends for a week. When I returned, MacDad prepared an awesome dinner of burkey (a combination of hamburger and ground turkey) burgers. I started feeling nauseous and I could not eat it. I went to bed that night, thinking I'd feel better in the morning. That did not happen. I had to wait 14 weeks for that morning.

Imagine the worst hangover you've ever had in your life. Imagine that hangover lasting three and a half months weeks with no break.

During that time, our routine included my waking up and waiting to see if I was going to throw up. I would shower, then wait in the stall to see if I was going to throw up. I would get dressed, go downstairs and then throw up. If I didn't make it to the bathroom, MacDad would clean it up then ask, "ready to go to work?"

Sometimes, I would get to work, and then throw up again. The experience was so miserable that when I returned from maternity leave and used the restroom at work, the smell of the bathroom made me nauseous just from association.

To make the awful feeling subside, I tried pregnancy pops, saltines and MacDad even made me a cake with fresh ginger. There was no relief. I remember watching the Olympics and feeling just horrible. Still, the site of Michael Phelps makes me sick to my stomach.

I'm thankful that this "morning" sickness didn't last my whole pregnancy, as it does with some seriously unfortunate women. But, in a strange way the feeling was reassuring, knowing that a person was growing in my belly and my body was reacting to it.

The sickness eventually subsided and then, I was just hungry. And, of course, now I can say it was all worth it as our bundble of joy is endlessly loveable and entertaining. However, if there's a MacBaby#2, I'd be just fine skipping the sickness and going straight to hungry :)

*Why does the time go so slow when you're pregnant, and then go so fast once you have the little one?

Full Disclosure: Why I Blog

2009-07-14T08:14:00.003-05:00

According to ABC News, there are 10,000 mommy bloggers out there. Why did I decide to join the ranks? Because I have a lot of opinions and MacDad doesn't always like to listen to them. Jokes!

I view this blog as a way to combine my interests - writing and my family. And, yes, it's true, I do have a lot of opinions. There were a lot of things about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting that I wish someone had told me, so I do hope that some of my opinions can be useful to others.

That being said, I do not think my opinions, or my child-raising methods are the only way. Heck, I've only been doing this four months, so I still have a lot to figure out! I share what works for me and my family. We have challenges, but others may encoutner different problems. For instance, MacBaby is great at tummy time; not so great at sleeping through the night. I hope to spur a dialog about babies and pareting, using topics in my life and main stream media as my guide. I do not shill for any products. All of my opinions are based on experience.

In addition to blogging, I watch too much T.V., enjoying reading, like keeping up with pop culture. I'm also obsessed with our personal finances and what we'll be eating for dinner. Maybe I'll write about these things, too

If there are any topics you'd like to see covered on this blog, feel free to contact me at macfamilyunit@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading!

Postpartum Depression - Should All New Moms Be Screened?

2009-07-13T09:20:00.006-05:00

Time magazine has an article debating whether all new moms should be screened for postpartum depression (PPD). A new law, which passed the Senate and is heading for the House, will mandate the funding of research, education and public-service announcements against PPD along with services for women who have it. Those against the law beleive it will be an opportunity for doctors to over-prescribe new moms.

I was fortunate enough not to experience clinical PPD. During MacBaby's first month of life, in between streches of adoring my newborn, I cried plenty and yelled at MacDad for no good reason. I attribute this to extreme fatigue. But, I never contimplated jumping out of a window.

Screening, though, seems like the correct thing to do. While my familiarity with the condition extends only to a public war of words between Tom Crusie and Brooke Shields and what the Parents as Teachers Lady and Nutbag Lactation Lady told me (it's chemical, not character, repeated 3x), those suffering PPD need the support of their medical advisors. The first forray into motherhood (and I'd imagine the second and third) is taxing enough, I couldn't imagine taking care of a newborn while battling depression as well. So, yes, I'm for the Mothers Act!

A Funny About My Hunnies

2009-07-13T07:40:00.005-05:00

This happens in our house. All the time. Google has been the go-to problem solver since we found out I was pregnant. I had the books, but why bother with those when you have the whole internet at your disposal?

Apparently doctors really hate this method of obtaining information. I remember calling the OB/GYN nurse during one of my many illnesses while I was pregnant worrying about something I learned online (I can't recall the specific ailment -- pregnancy caused my brain to shrink, but that's another post). They refuted this information and told me to stop reading the internets.

But, I can't! It's so useful when searching for the reason for green baby poo or to check on a four months old development. How did people learn about what to do with their babies before Google?

Illustration by Ali Volkmar.

MacFamily Menu

2009-07-12T16:01:00.003-05:00

After much debate, MacMama and I have finished our negotiations about me posting on the family blog. The conditions are: I will post regularly about our menu, and in return she will continue to be married to me.

So, here it goes:

Like many modern families, we have mashed up the domestic tasks into a system that looks nothing like the '50s-era American model, but still manages to work. Although I would love to come home every night to an apron-clad wifey, who would take my hat in exchange for something bourbony in a highball glass, this just ain't going to happen.

Instead, I'm greeted more often with the recurring and always challenging, "What's for dinner?" (and now with MacBaby, add some crying and howling for effect)

Really, I don't mind. I like to cook, and MacMama has enough on her hands, including being the sole source of nutrition for the MacBaby. So my challenge is to pull together dinner, one night after another, quickly, efficiently, tastily and healthily.

I've got plenty of tips and such, lessons I've picked up from a few years spent in kitchens, but always as an amateur, not as a pro. Here's my first one: learn value of parsley. Not the spidery green that you get next to the baked potato and steak at your 80s-era steakhouse, but the real kind: flat, broad green leaf Italian parsley.

Here's what you do with it to put on a homey but impressive meal in about 20 minutes:

1. Boil water for pasta. As a rule, don't add oil to the water, add salt. If you add oil it will coat your noodles and keep the sauce from penetrating it. Salt will help the water boil faster and add a little something to the noodles.

2. While the water boils, clean your parsley and chop it up. Also crush, shell and mince 5 or 6 cloves of garlic. The smaller cloves will pack more punch. Shred some parmesan. If you're doing a salad with dinner, now is the time to get it going, while the water is heating to a boil.

3. If you're still waiting for the water to boil, have a glass of wine or a beer. If you're drinking a beer, pour it into a glass; don't drink it from a can or bottle. You can look into its colors and swirls, and appreciate them, while you wait for the water.

4. Water's boiling: drop in your pasta and stir it up immediately to keep it free flowing. I like to use regular spaghetti for this tho some recommend linguine. You'll want to pull it a little early on the cooking time, so it's just al-dente. At this point you need to get everything else done while the pasta cooks, so get to it.

5. Heat a fair amount of olive oil in a saucepan with some red pepper flakes. A medium heat is all you need. When there's about 5 minutes left on the pasta, drop your garlic in the oil. Whatever you do, don't burn the garlic. If it turns brown, it's gone bitter. Game over. Order a pizza.

6. Optional- if you want to be a purist, you can proceed to next step. But at this point if you want to add anything else- diced tomato, some mushrooms, etc- go for it.

7. Mix it all together. Drop a cup of the pasta cooking water into the oil. Drain the noodles and add to the oil. Add the parsley. Turn everything together; I use a tongs for this. Add the shredded parm. Turn it all together. Lift into some pasta bowls, and eat.

This dish has a lot of names but the simplest one is Alio e Olio. When it works, the parsley's high, fresh notes balance the earthy garlic, the parm binds and the pepper flakes lend some zing. I like to do a broccoli thing with this, but that's another recipe. All doable in 20 minutes.

OK, more to write but I have to go make Sunday dinner.

How Do I Entertain My Child? Let Me Count the Ways. . .

2009-07-11T12:15:00.003-05:00

Our current go-to means of entertainment methods include:

The Papasan Cradle Swing

Travel Swing

The Bouncer

Tummy Time Matt

Exersaucer

The swing and the saucer are excellent for when I'm cleaning up the kitchen. The boppy travel swing stays in the bathroom to put him in when we're showering. After 5 p.m. none of these options work as MacBaby gets crabby, tired and just wants to be held, so we resort to the Baby Bjorn and our nightly walk around the neighborhood.

Isn't it Cute When

2009-07-11T10:10:00.001-05:00

Babies roll from their back to their front for the first time? Then they look up at you like what did I just do? How did I get here?

Ruth Ginsberg Weighs in on Recession Mama Drama

2009-07-09T15:46:00.002-05:00

Excerpted from a New York Times Interview:

Q: In the 1980s, you wrote about how while the sphere for women has widened to include more work, men haven’t taken on as much domestic responsibility. Do you think that things are beginning to change?

JUSTICE GINSBURG: That’s going to take time, changing that kind of culture. But looking at my own family, my daughter Jane teaches at Columbia, she travels all over the world, and she has the most outstanding supportive husband who certainly carries his fair share of the load. Although their division of labor is different than mine and my husband’s, because my daughter is a super cook.

Q: Can courts play a role in changing that culture?

JUSTICE GINSBURG: The Legislature can make the change, can facilitate the change, as laws like the Family Medical Leave Act do. But it’s not something a court can decree. A court can’t tell the man, You’ve got to do more than carry out the garbage.

LOL!

Recession Mama Drama

2009-07-09T08:17:00.009-05:00

According to a Time Magazine article, women are bearing the brunt of the recession, even when it's their husbands who are laid off.

Here's my favorite part: To be sure, many of these cuts affect both the husband and wife, but women — even those who work outside the home — still take on more household responsibilities, including cooking, cleaning and taking care of children, whatever their ages.

There's actual data to back this up in this article from the New York Times: "The most recent figures from the University of Wisconsin’s National Survey of Families and Households show that the average wife does 31 hours of housework a week while the average husband does 14 — a ratio of slightly more than two to one. If you break out couples in which wives stay home and husbands are the sole earners, the number of hours goes up for women, to 38 hours of housework a week, and down a bit for men, to 12, a ratio of more than three to one. That makes sense, because the couple have defined home as one partner’s work.But then break out the couples in which both husband and wife have full-time paying jobs. There, the wife does 28 hours of housework and the husband, 16.

Where the housework ratio is two to one, the wife-to-husband ratio for child care in the United States is close to five to one. In a family where Mom stays home and Dad goes to work, she spends 15 hours a week caring for children and he spends 2. In families in which both parents are wage earners, Mom’s average drops to 11 and Dad’s goes up to 3."

Fascinating trends! Some of us "modern women" are getting wise to this. Kudos to you working ladies who are solely responsibility of their household chores, but I have no idea how I could work all day, come home, take care of MacBaby, cook dinner and clean up. So, I don't. MacDaddy is the Executive Chef of the family (and will be blogging here about cooking in the near future) and the Trashman (most of the time). I am the Baby Food Provider, Laundress, and general cleaner-upper. Diaper duty is divided equally.

MacDaddy and I never sat down and created a chore spreadsheet, our division just happened naturally based on our strengths and weaknesses. However, gender chore sharing is a movement! With actual names! It's known as Equally Shared Parenting or Third Path.

Perhaps another silver lining to the recession, in addition to helping the collective "us" curb spending, is the media attention to traditional gender roles.

How do you deal with chore division in your family? Has the recession impacted your routine?

Tip of the Day

2009-07-09T07:40:00.000-05:00

If there is spit up on your floor wipe it up, lest you slip, fall and break your neck.

Nine Months On, Nine Months Off? Or, When Will My Pants Fit?

2009-07-08T08:53:00.002-05:00

I have a beautiful wedding band and engagement ring. I picked them out myself. I also have a closet full of nice pants and dress shirts. I have not been able to wear these things in a year. I miss them. I looking forward to the day I can wear my wedding ring again. If only I had not eaten quite so many scoops of ice cream. . .

What's On Tap

2009-07-07T09:33:00.005-05:00

The issue of drinking while breastfeeding has come to light in the media. A mother in Bismark, N.D. was arrested for breastfeeding her six week old while intoxicated.

After 10 months of abstaining form alcohol, I have made a rule for myself about drinking post-baby. My rule of thumb is to have two glasses, or ten ounces of alcohol (usually wine) on the weekend. I follow this stipulation, because, in addition to not wanting the little one to imbibe along with me, it would really suck to take care of a four month old hungover.

The lactation consultant at the hospital dispensed this advice, the only advice of hers I took. She started this conversation by saying, "we need to talk about drugs and alcohol," to which I responded, "I don't do drugs." She said, "I was talking about not mixing prescription drugs drugs with alcohol, but if you wanted to smoke a joint that would be ok."

What? Pre-pregnancy, and certainly while I was pregnant, our house was, and has remained, pot free, thank you very much. She reminded us at that we were at an "urban" hospital and such behavior was common. What? Are you implying that living in a certain zip code makes smoking pot around a newborn ok, Nutbag Lactation Lady (NBLL)?

Lesson learned? Don't trust a woman who asks if she can touch your boob after she has grabbed it. If there's a MacBaby#2, I'm going to request that she be banned from my room. But, I will always thank NBLL for letting me enjoy my pinot noir with a peace of mind.

Isn't It Cute When . . .

2009-07-06T12:45:00.001-05:00

Babies spontaneously smile when they're in the middle of eating? And when they're done eating they continue to move their mouths like they're still eating?

Intersection of Obsessions: My Baby + My Hair

2009-07-06T12:28:00.004-05:00

Four months after giving birth, my hair seems to be falling out in mass amounts. According to babycenter.com, this postpartum hair loss should not be cause for concern. It's caused by hormone changes. Continuing prenatal vitamins and DHA supplements will help, along with scalp massages and mild shampoos. As always, for those of us curly girls, the curly girl method should be followed as much as possible.

I Love My Country Execpt When it Comes to Maternity Leave (Happy 4th!)

2009-07-04T16:37:00.004-05:00

To mark Sarah Palin's decision to stop governing Alaska, here's an article that appeared during election season about what her potential vice presidency would say about working moms.

According to the article, Palin went back to work a mere three days after giving birth to her son Trig and breastfed during meetings. Three days after giving birth to MacBaby I still couldn't walk to the toilet by myself, much less check and respond to an email. As for breastfeeding during meetings, this isn't really an option for most of us. I don't think I could ever look our CEO in the eye again if my boob accidentally popped out. So, politicians, advocate for maternity leave rights. While this is a great country, let's look back to Europe for the example of post partum care for mamas and babies.

Money, Honey

2009-07-04T13:25:00.003-05:00

MacDaddy and I may be late to this trend, but we are now using Mint.com to keep track of all of our personal finances. You can upload all of your account information (debts and assets) and it will track your overall wealth (or lack thereof). There's also an extremely user-friendly iphone app. Now I can check our finances while at Baby Gap to see if I should go ahead buy MacBaby new onesies that he'll outgrow in two weeks.

One Night TWO Exciting Developments!

2009-07-03T14:49:00.001-05:00

Last night MacFamily unit had a few friends over to celebrate MacDaddy's birthday. At 9 p.m. MacBaby was ready to call it a night. I took him upstairs, intending to stay with him for the remainder of the evening, but MacDaddy set up the video monitor so I could still socialize. I waiting until he fell asleep, put him in the pack and play next to our bed and crept down the stairs. There was his face on our TV! Instead of watching him right next to me, I stared at him in hi-def sleeping peacefully. Not only that, but he remained peaceful until we came upstairs at 11. And, not only that, but he didn't wake up two hours later, but slept until 3 a.m.! Hopefully it wasn't a fluke and the one-time per night feedings will continue.

Um, Ew.

2009-07-02T11:44:00.000-05:00

I love Joel Stein. Here's his taking on eating placenta. Has anyone else tried this? I can't imagine, but I take the Fenugreek pills and I'm still not clear what that is.

Boom Boom Pow

2009-07-01T11:26:00.000-05:00

When I was two, my parents took me to see fireworks. I was so scared, I peed myself. I briefly considered taking MacBaby, 3.5. months to his first firework festival. He loves bright lights. Loud sounds, not so much, so I'm reconsidering. Maybe we'll watch them on TV to celebrate his first fourth? However, you choose to celebrate, Happy 4th of July!