Despite my wretched morning sickness, tendency to pick up viruses and huge feet, I had a normal pregnancy until my 37th week. I began to feel dizzy at work on a Wednesday and went pregnancy triage center at the hospital where I would give birth. There, the staff took my blood pressure and looked for protein in my urine. All signs pointed to preclampsia.
I went to my scheduled doctor's appointment the next day and she recommended I stop working and stay on "couch rest." By Friday, they recommended inducing me, which I declined, wanting to bake the baby a little longer. On Monday, I went to another scheduled doctor's appointment when she told me that I would not get another week out of the pregnancy. Ok, then, we decided, let's get it on with.
MacDad and I went home, showered, gathered our hospital gear, went to a nice dinner and headed back to the maternity ward. My inducement started at 11 p.m. that night with pitocin and a cervix softener.
We got nowhere fast. The next afternoon, I finally dilated to 5 and my water broke on its own. Through the night, though, there was no progress and by 4 a.m. they declared it time for a c-section. Although I was scared, I was just as scared for a vaginal delivery and though that my doctor was advising me to do what was in the best interest for me and my baby.
Less than two hours later, MacBaby was breastfeeding like a champ. He did not descend because of his size (22 inches, 8 lbs and 14 oz) and moreover, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck several times. Who knows what would have happened if we had insisted on a vaginal delivery. I still feel the induction and c-section were the right calls. I'm of the "better safe than sorry" mindset.
Fast forward a few weeks. MacDad was out of town and I was up with my newborn. Flipping channels, I found The Business of Being Born.
Ricki Lake, a huge proponent of midwives and home births, produced the film. The documentary followed women who opted out of hospital births and cited worrisome statistics about rising c-section deliveries. Perhaps more doctors are performing c-sections for convenience sake, but I take issue with the doctor quoting as saying that women who have c-sections don't have the same rush of love hormones for their children and therefore all of humanity is in the crapper. Way to help a new mom feel bad about herself.
Yes, my son was pulled out of my stomach and not down there, but I can only imagine that I love him no less. Ironically, the director of the film, who was pregnant during the making of the movie, planned a home birth, but had a hospital birth because of complications.
So, Ricki Lake, while home birth may have worked for you, don't hate on those who have hospital births. We're still good mothers. We still love our children.
6 comments:
Did you see the Today Show story on home birth a few weeks ago? The midwife community was outraged by the story because it basically slammed homebirth. They did reference Rikki Lake and her movie.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/32795933#32795933
Chris
Yes! I meant to include that. I was so sad for that couple. Very unfortunate.
good post, my friend. I had planned a natural, drug-free childbirth (in a hospital). I went into labor at 41.5 weeks. We had a very long labor - 52 hours. I'm not joking. I was committed to going naturally and by hour 42 was finally fully dilated, water broke, and pushed for 4 hours without drugs. Completely exhausted, I finally got an epidural and pushed for another 4 hours... no progress, so finally they went in and got him via c-section. Turns out, he had flipped around and without a c-section, he probably wouldn't have ever come out.
I was very depressed that my birth didn't go as planned and often wondered if I took the easy way out, if I could've done something different. Did I do long-term harm to my child as a result? We're we not going to bond because I wasn't able to BF him until about 5 hours post birth? Blah blah blah...
I saw the Ricki Lake thing (before having baby) and was inspired by it - I wasn't going to succumb to the escalation of interventions (pitocin... epidural... c-section...). After having him, I was embarrassed and sad that it didn't go the way I'd planned.
While I think that birthing has become a very medical, "emergent" process in western societies, there are very real medical reasons to have a baby in the hospital, our two cases just being two of many examples. And frankly, it's no one's business what motivations are behind these types of very personal decisions.
To me, the whole home-birth/natural/hospital/c-section debate is yet another way we continue to judge each other. And for a new mom, this judgment is a very sad initiation into motherhood but is unfortunately, just the beginning of a lifetime of judging each other. We moms and parents are only making the best decisions we can for our little ones and damn our society for passing judgment on us for these very personal choices. There's no way that I don't love my son as much as someone who went naturally or who breastfed theirs until he was two! Let's just all cut each other a little slack.
Phew - rant... sorry...
JoAnna - I totally agree that there is much hatred (especially on the internets) about moms who don't do things the "right" way. In a lot of cases, there is no "right" way!
Another thought - why did the health professionals not know that your baby was turned around and that MacBaby had a cord around his neck. You'd think that in this day and age they would have figured that out!
I think it's unfair to say that movie is 'hating' on non-natural birth. It struck me as making some valid points about maternity care in this country. Do one in three births in the US really need to be surgical? it doesn't correlate with birth stats elsewhere in the Western world. I'm really glad you and MacBaby had a safe outcome, pre-eclampsia is serious and you don't want to take chances. But I experienced first hand how some OB's will try and schedule utterly unnecessary inductions. I think maternity care in this country is pretty broken.
I agree Lima Bean, maternity care in this country is broken. One of the most disturbing things about it is that women don't know the risks and benefits of interventions. Honestly, I don't care what you decide, as long as you have had all information presented to you and can make an informed choice. "The Business of Being Born" was not meant to make you feel like a bad mom, but to help educate women about their choices.
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