MacDad's Advice for New Dads

A friend of the MacFamily Unit just had a baby. Follows is an email from MacDad to this new dad.

Congrats. My only advice is, don't turn to your wife after the first sleepless night and say "You better figure this shit out, I gotta go back to work." She won't likely forget it very quickly. Or perhaps ever.

Other items:

• Eastern europeans have uniquely domainant genes; I'm not surprised that she is more Hungarian-flavored than Korean. In the formation of our son, MacMama's russian jew genes crushed mine like a line of T-72s plowing through Prague. But he turned out to be pretty cool anyway.
• C-Sections are wild. Did you get to be in the OR? Did you get a clean suit? I accidentally peeked when they did MacMama's. Fucking gore everywhere. Something that looked like pork tenderloin, slathered with jelly; I think it was the placenta. Brings a new level of respect for the mama.
• Get out of the hospital as soon as you can. Don't let the nurses or doctors give you any shit. Everyone has advice and it's often conflicting or wrong. Once you get home things get substantially more sane.
• OK, one more tip: Nobody comes in or out of your house without bringing you something (food, baby shit) or taking something away (garbage, baby shit.) No casual sightseers.
  

Now you just have to spend the rest of you life caring for, feeding and nurturing that girl. And keeping her off the pole. Really, that's about it. Congrats again.

LOL.