The Hangover

MacDad recommended I incorporate some tips and tricks into the blog. So here's a "what not to do."

Do not go out to dinner, have too much wine, go to a high school reunion, drink beers, come home with your childhood girlfriends at 1 a.m. screaming like "wild banshees," eat all the Christmas cookies, wake up the baby and pass out on the bathroom floor.

Just a suggestion.

Little Boy Trauma Overload

SPOILER ALERT (DEXTER)

Recently, in entertainment and real life, there seem to be a mass of stories about traumatized little boys. It's really getting me down. Would I be this affected if I had a girl? Here's the low down:

Fiction

• The Road - I tried to prove MacDad wrong and read this book. I got about 60 pages in and realized it was just too depressing. Maybe I'll pick it up again over the holiday (doubt it -- it's already back on the bookshelf), but I couldn't help but picture MacDad and MacBaby trudging through an apocalyptic nightmare without me. Why anyone (MacDad -- I'm talking to you) would want to see this play out on the big screen is beyond me.
• Dexter - Two nights ago I had a Trinity nightmare. Not kidding. Then, last night, as I was innocently watching The Sing-Off, the kid that Trinity kidnapped showed up on a fast food commercial. There is no escaping the terror that was the season finale. Fast food boy escaped unscathed, thanks to Dexter, but the cycle of awfulness continues with poor Harrison. Perhaps this affected me so much because little MacBaby was sleeping peacefully next to me while I was watching the horror unfold. Again, in this scenario, the mom is absent while the dad and son (I'm presuming) will navigate their way in the world. An aside about Dexter -- it's interesting that he says he and Harrison are both "born in blood." Aren't we all? Is it being "born in blood" twice that gives one serial killer tendencies?

Real Life

• A man inserted more than 40 sewing needles into his step son in an effort to kill him to spite the boy's mother. I cannot fathom why a person would do this. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about. Thank goodness the mom realized that something was up and sought help.
• I don't know what's going on in the Southern Hemisphere, but David Goldman's heartbreaking journey to regain custody of his son. This time, a father and son separated for years because of his (now deceased -- again!) mother's actions. I hope they are reunited and can live happily ever after.
• Finally, and even more heartbreaking, a two year old drowns while his mom is Tweeting. There's a lot of talk on the internet about "judging" others, so I won't judge this particular case because I don't know all the details, but I will say that I can't understand moms who are constantly Twittering. It would seem that they Tweet while driving, preparing family meals and putting their children to bed. This makes me nervous. I can barely manage to keep MacBaby from taking a nose dive at any given moment. I couldn't imagine running a household while constantly broadcasting our goings on. Not to mention, does anyone really care/need to know how many diapers I change in a day.

It's enough to put the boy in a bubble until he's 18, or maybe even 21.

So, world at large. How about some happy stories involving a little guy? Those in lost in hot air balloons need not apply!

Postpartum Depression - Not Just For Moms Anymore

According to this article in the New York Times, new dad can experience postpartum depression, too. One study on the subject cites that "4 percent of fathers had clinically significant depressive symptoms within eight weeks of the birth of their children." I haven't really thought of this before, but it makes sense.

Women start mentally and physically preparing for motherhood the minute we find out we're pregnant. We're tired and can't drink, so pregnancy already necessitates a life-style change. Fathers are on the sideline while the moms grow, and start bonding, with their babies. Yes, many dads are very involved, but seeing your child once or twice through an ultrasound and feeling him do daily somersaults in your stomach are very different.

Through labor and delivery, and once the newborn arrives, much of the attention is still on the moms. If a baby is breastfed exclusively, a dad is unable even to feed his new child. Adding to that pressure to keep the family financially stable, lack of sleep and less intimacy, I could see how this could cause alienation and depression.

Thanks to the New York Times for bringing awareness to this issue. The author suggests psychotherapy and antidepressants as solutions. Although neither MacDad and I suffered postpartum depression, we did experience growing pains with the addition of our new family member. As such, I would include time as a healing factor. New born babies are hard. In my experience, it gets easier.

All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

I have to imagine that this is what MacBaby is thinking right now, even though he's probably not cognizant of "Christmas" or "teeth." At eight and a half months-old, he has two tiny white specks sticking out of his bottom gums. The development of these buds occurred about two weeks ago.

MacDad and I wonder how his teeth will change his smile and if he'll look goofy with two lone teeth. While I don't obsessively wonder about my son's dental development during my waking life, sometime I dream that he smiles, revealing a whole set of pearly whites. Strange.

In the meantime, he enjoys holding tubes of toothpaste and thinks that when we brush our teeth it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. So, I bought him his very own baby toothbrush. He enjoys chewing on it. Hopefully this leads to good dental hygiene practices. Soon enough, he'll be standing beside us at the sink, brushing his own teeth. For now, we still get a kick out of his gummy grin.

Required Reading for Dads

Guest post from MacDad:

So I'm in an airport. Tired, mentally bankrupt, fighting back a cold, and nothing to look forward to except the next several lost hours spent being queued through anonymous glass and steel corridors and into an airborne, aluminum tube full of meat before I get back to the family at home. And then I do something I wouldn't normally do. I buy a paperback and start reading it.

I finished it later that night. I was home, and although the world was quiet, I had an immediate need to find my sleeping wife and son, to touch them and to feel that that they were real and safe and that I had done my job for the day.

The book is The Road. I don't think I'm going to see the film when it comes out next week. There is something pure and unspoiled in the bleak landscape of words that Cormac Mccarthy has assembled. There is something untouchable in the tenderness between the unnamed father and son.

My wife wonders what's different about this book to me, and why I finished it when I leave so many others halfway through. For a new father, this is the story that lays plain all of the undecorated love and horror that I normally keep safely to myself. I don't expect her to like the book.

I Have No Idea What Happened To My Placenta, but I Can Guarantee It Didn't Become This

The headline to this story is Placenta Teddy Bear: Meaningful or Just Gross? I vote for Just Gross and, yes, that's it to the right. All together now - EW!

I asked MacDad if he sneaked a look at MacBaby's nine-month source of nourishment. He said no. So, really, I have no idea what happened to it after they took it out.

But, I will use this opportunity to plug (ha) cord blood donation. Unless you're planning on privately banking your cord blood, there really is no down side to donating. The only difference in your delivery is that the nurse collected an extra couple vials of blood before I delivered. If your child needs the marrow before it is donating, he or she will receive it.

The organization I donated to called after MacBaby was born to let me know that my umbilical cord supplied an ample amount of material to work with. We will find out if any child in need ever receives it. In the meantime, I will not be getting any tattoos in case MacBaby#2 comes along and I donate a second time.

Wherein I Admit I Can't Do It All - Or Sometimes Anything

People tell you that your life will change after you have kids, but you don't realize just how much until you're living it.

During the past seven and a half months, I've uttered the phrase "I can't do everything!" more times than I can count. Some days, though, I struggle with getting anything done, let alone everything.

When you realize you're out of diapers, your child has one clean pair of pants, and there's no food in the house, I call in the reinforcements. Running our household has gone from something I could handle by myself to easily a three person job. Luckily, MacBaby's grandparents and aunts and uncles live conveniently close by and are (usually) happy to come over and help so I don't have a nervous breakdown (she said while putting a dirty bib in the fridge - not the washing machine).

Aside from working, household tasks, and ensuring that MacBaby is taken care of, I have no idea how to fit anything else into my life. The half-hour of daily exercise needed to keep your heart healthy? Yeah, right. Hanging out with friends? Sure - come on over and watch me wipe banana off the little guy's face.

The issue I struggle with the most is date night. It's always a nice time when MacDad and I escape two hours for a nice dinner with a couple of glasses of wine, but I still feel guilty for leaving MacBaby at home. Especially when it's so easy to stay in and cuddle with him.

I know he's in good care with family members, but I don't know how often we should go out a deux or what time of night.

Typically I prefer Saturday nights because we're with him all day, and will still have another day before we head back to work. If we go out at 6, we come back in time to put him to bed, but we're missing awake time with him. If we go out at 7, he'll likely be asleep and won't miss us, but that arduous task is left to other family members.

How do you fit it all in? When do you and your partner spend time together?

A Budding Bookworm?

MacDad and I are avid readers. Or, at least I used to be.

We introduced MacBaby to books days after he came home from the hospital. Now, he loves them. Banging on them, that is.

MacDad has been reading The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain. Every night, MacBaby grabs the book and tries to beat up Mark Twain.

We try to read Goodnight Moon, which, from adult perspective, is a very strange book, but that's for another post. Instead of listening to the story, MacBaby pounds on the kittens with mittens.

Instead of realizing that MacBaby is at the stage where he likes to bang on everything -- my head included -- I have decided that MacBaby has inherited our love of books.

He also loves to watch MacDad make us dinner, therefore he will be a talented chef. He likes to play with his stuffed whale, therefore he will be a marine biologist. He loves his music class, therefore he will someday shred a mean guitar. He'll sit and watch a baseball game, therefore he will one day win a Golden Glove.

It will be interesting to see, which, if any, of these predictions will come true. In the meantime, it's fun to watch him create his own path in the world. I never knew that, even at seven months, he'd be on his way.

Trick or Treat, Give My Parents Something Good to Eat?

With Halloween less than a week away, MacFamily finally bought pumpkins for carving. Other preparations have been made by ordering a personalized treat bag (MacBaby's real name not depicted) and purchasing a black and orange shirt that reads "Candy Pirate. Surrender Ye Candy." He will be wearing this shirt every day this week, since it will never again fit him.

We have decided not to dress him in a costume, since, as we like to say around our house, he's a baby, not a clown. When he's old enough to assert what he would like to wear, he can wear a costume. In the meantime, we're not going to dress him as Yoda or a car freshener.

I do think it would be fun to take him to a few neighbor's houses for trick or treating. However, since he has no teeth, will they just assume that we're in it to get candy for ourselves?

How you do handle Halloween with your two-foot terror?

Biology vs. Reality

October is National Work and Family Month and as such there's a lot of talk on the internets about women in the workplace.

An article on MSNBC today remarks that finding childcare falls to the mom, even when both parents work full time. Those in favor of work-life initiatives argue that men need to step up in fighting for the cause. I agree, both parties should be responsible for all aspects of parenting. But, there's one problem -- biology.

Even before our children our born, the balance of power is automatically set up so that women are "in charge" of child rearing. We grow children in our bodies. If we choose to breastfeed, we are the sole providers of nutrition for up to a year. I believe this sets up the inequality that women continue to face as they raise their children.

In a perfect world, I would love for my biology to reign over reality. If I stayed hom, MacBaby would never receive formula, could sleep according to his biological clock and would not be rushed out of the house five days a week when he would prefer more time in his Johnny Jump Up.

But, the reality is, I'm a working mom. I want to invest in my 401(k) and save to help MacBaby with his college tuition. I work now for our family's future.

I hope awareness to these issues will result in more flexibility work environments. The results would benefit moms, kids and dads. I just hope our biology doesn't stand in our way.

Don't Blame Me, Blame My Brain

This week, I was running low on gas. After work, I decided to stop at the gas station before I picked up MacBaby from my parent's house. Stopping on the way home would just prolong his screaming in the car.

Instead of driving past my parent's house the one block to go to the gas station, I pulled into their driveway. On my ten minute commute from work, I forgot where I was going.

I went inside and fed MacBaby, then went to fill up the car. As I was pulling out of the gas station, a man waved me down. I forgot to put the cap back on the gas tank and close its door. Not that this was the first time I neglected to put the cap back on, but on this particular occasion, I blame my baby brain.

The woman's brain shrinks three to five percent during pregnancy and supposedly extracts within six months of giving birth. I'm still waiting. . .

Why I Hate Ricki Lake

This is the post I've been meaning to write since I started this blog.

Despite my wretched morning sickness, tendency to pick up viruses and huge feet, I had a normal pregnancy until my 37th week. I began to feel dizzy at work on a Wednesday and went pregnancy triage center at the hospital where I would give birth. There, the staff took my blood pressure and looked for protein in my urine. All signs pointed to preclampsia.

I went to my scheduled doctor's appointment the next day and she recommended I stop working and stay on "couch rest." By Friday, they recommended inducing me, which I declined, wanting to bake the baby a little longer. On Monday, I went to another scheduled doctor's appointment when she told me that I would not get another week out of the pregnancy. Ok, then, we decided, let's get it on with.

MacDad and I went home, showered, gathered our hospital gear, went to a nice dinner and headed back to the maternity ward. My inducement started at 11 p.m. that night with pitocin and a cervix softener.

We got nowhere fast. The next afternoon, I finally dilated to 5 and my water broke on its own. Through the night, though, there was no progress and by 4 a.m. they declared it time for a c-section. Although I was scared, I was just as scared for a vaginal delivery and though that my doctor was advising me to do what was in the best interest for me and my baby.

Less than two hours later, MacBaby was breastfeeding like a champ. He did not descend because of his size (22 inches, 8 lbs and 14 oz) and moreover, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck several times. Who knows what would have happened if we had insisted on a vaginal delivery. I still feel the induction and c-section were the right calls. I'm of the "better safe than sorry" mindset.

Fast forward a few weeks. MacDad was out of town and I was up with my newborn. Flipping channels, I found The Business of Being Born.

Ricki Lake, a huge proponent of midwives and home births, produced the film. The documentary followed women who opted out of hospital births and cited worrisome statistics about rising c-section deliveries. Perhaps more doctors are performing c-sections for convenience sake, but I take issue with the doctor quoting as saying that women who have c-sections don't have the same rush of love hormones for their children and therefore all of humanity is in the crapper. Way to help a new mom feel bad about herself.

Yes, my son was pulled out of my stomach and not down there, but I can only imagine that I love him no less. Ironically, the director of the film, who was pregnant during the making of the movie, planned a home birth, but had a hospital birth because of complications.

So, Ricki Lake, while home birth may have worked for you, don't hate on those who have hospital births. We're still good mothers. We still love our children.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Last year, I sported one of MacDad's sweatshirts. The green hoodie, he informed me, had been around since his high school days. At that time, he said, he couldn't have imagined his pregnant wife wearing it.

We have a blanket in our living room I purchased on a whim several years ago at a Pier 1 outlet. The soft, fuzzy and deeply discounted addition is now one of MacBaby's favorites. If you had told me when I bought it that my future six-month-old son would love to languish on it, I would have given you a big eye roll, accompanied by a "whatever."

It's so strange the things we have in our lives that take on new significance as our family grows. I wonder if there's a twinkle in my eye that will some day get a kick out of a rug that we have yet to purchase or a soft sweater we have yet to wear.

Start Your Week With a Twist

Slate is featuring Freaky Fortnight in which a staff member is swapping places with his stay at home/freelance writer wife. It should be an interesting read.

While MacDad and I both work, his job is more rigorous and I would not want to change places with him, nor he would he be interested in that prospect. He frequently travels and every time I grill him with "what would you do if I was out of town for a week," he responds with "you can't."

I look forward to following this experiment and seeing how each spouse responds to the shoe on the other foot.

While you're on the site, Slate hosts a weekly discussion of Mad Men. It's sad that I need one of my favorite shows explained to me, but they do a thorough job.

Happy Monday!

Around the Web

• A closer look at the demographics making up stay at home moms. Apparently, they're young, uneducated and ethnic. So, I guess I fit in with other older, educated white working moms? Only read the comments if you want to know how the yahoos think.
• We just got a jogging stroller. According to this article, now we actually have to start jogging to be fit. Wah.
• Diapers are now being used to sell toys. I have to admit, I did think it was weird that Elmo was on newborn MacBaby's tiny diaper, especially since he couldn't even see that far.
• Tips on H1N1 and pregnancy.
• A dad takes his five year old to McDonald's for the first time. MacDad and I agree that MacBaby will not be eating there anytime soon. It was good to read about this issue, which I'm sure will come up as there's one right down the street from our house.
• Pregnancy, weight gain and body image issues. Been there, sister.
• And, more intersection of obsessions - Mad Men on Sesame Street

Watching Television Through a New Lens

Being a new parent changes your perspective on a lot of things, including my favorite television shows. (Potential spoilers ahead.)

On Mad Men, a big development this season is the addition of Eugene Scott to the Draper household. After a horrifying birthing experience, Betty is now home with the little guy. In Sunday's episode, Don was off with Sally watching an eclipse and hitting on her teacher. Betty was busy flirting with a politician and subsequently writhing on a fainting couch.

Pre-baby, I may have been able to go along with some suspended belief, but I kept thinking, where is the baby? They showed a stroller once in the kitchen, but we heard nary a "wah" from the little guy. I know Mad Men has more important issues to tackle than the intricacies of diaper changing in 1963, but at least integrate Eugene/Scott into the family a little bit.

I finally caught up with Dexter Tuesday night, who also welcomed a son, Harrison. The plot of the first episode centered around Dexter's sleep deprivation. He stays up late with his three month old. Two things occurred to me: Rita, Dexter's wife, must not be breast feeding and three month old aren't up for hours in the middle of the night. So, there goes the set up for the whole season.

Further along in the episode, Rita tries to start some hanky panky with Dexter. Ha! Oh, Hollywood. You are too funny! Like that would ever happen with a three month old under the roof, not to mention their other two kids. Are there ANY women in the writer's room?

Although I would never shoot my son as punishment, Modern Family seems more realistic. Like last night, when one of the dads checked to see if his wife was in the room before declaring himself the head of the household.

Not every show has to emulate real life, but it's nice to be able to relate to characters and situations once in while. If we ever get to the point where Curb Your Enthusiasm mirrors our life, I know we're in trouble.

Observations and Advice Needed

Don'tcha hate it when your baby is sound asleep and you're awake for no apparent reason staring at him or her (or in the case of some twins him and her)? That happened to me Saturday night. There's nothing like being awake when you really should be sleeping to irritate a person.

In other news, MacBaby is, as his dad tells him every night during dinner, a good eater. So far we have checked off the food list avocados, bananas, carrots, peas and squash. All are quite popular with the little dude, except for the carrots, which we may not have prepare to be mushy enough. Apples are on the menu for later this week. What other foods are baby appropriate to give him? I looked at the baby food jars at the grocery store for inspiration, but these did not yield any new ideas.

Our final issue - saliva. I think MacBaby is teething. He's drooling so much that his chin is getting irritated and turning red. Any advice on how to prevent this? And, what do I put on it after it gets red?

Thank you, in advance, for sharing your parenting expertise.

Weird, Wild and Wacky Baby News

• A woman gets pregnant while pregnant, so, apparently it's possible.
• A woman in Indonesia gave birth to the largest baby on record at 19.2 pounds. That had to hurt.
• This one's not so weird, just good to know - there's a recall for Baby Tylenol.

I Have Shissues

Now that I can fit back into the majority of my wardrobe, I've encountered a new problem - shissues = shoe issues.

While I was pregnant, I my regular shoes stopped fitting after about month 6. I thought my feet were just swollen, but now that I'm out of flip-flops and into the closed toe variety with the onset of fall, I've learned that my feet actually grew. Only one of them is back to size.

I have different sized feet. "What does this mean for your shoe collection?" asked an observant and fiscally weary MacDad. Some shoes are still fine. Some give me blisters before I even leave the house. When buying new shoes, I either have one foot that fits perfects and the other is scrunched, or I have one foot that fits perfectly and the other is too big.

Can you buy a pair of shoes with two sizes? Anyone else have this issue?

Flu Season Comes to a Boil

The Lillith Blog (a feminist, Jewish Web site) has a post today on chicken soup. A vegetarian reluctantly gets pulled back into carnivorous ways via a pot of chicken soup prepared for her sick children. The author puts cauliflower into the soup, causing outrage from her mother. "It's supposed to be a clear broth! That's the whole point! Have I taught you nothing?"

The chicken soup controversy has made its way into our house as well. In the past when MacDad has feigned illness (cough . . . I'm sick. . . cough), he has been severely disappointed in me that instead of making him chicken soup from scratch, I get some from my parents freezer that my mother has made from scratch at some point during the last decade and stockpiled for such occasions.

My refusal to touch raw poultry should have been a clue to him that I was not eager to whip up a pot, but he was relentless that I learn how. If not for him, then for our (at the time) future children who deserve to be consoled by the Jewish penicillin.

When I've been sick (actually sick) MacDad has been kind enough to make a pot of chicken soup from scratch. But, he does it wrong and I don't like it. The Italian in him adds too much flavor.

Perhaps this could be the silver lining during this flu season. I contribute to the food-making in our family via chicken soup. If it happens I'll post a pick. You'll need to see it to believe it.

Stuff

Time's Cheapskate Blog delves into unnecessary baby items.

It's true. You really don't need much stuff when your baby first arrives. Blankets, onesies diapers and wipes are your basic necessities. Somehow, as the child grows, they accumulate more stuff. MacBaby has a lot of toys thanks to his grandparents. MacDad gave him an empty Wheat Thins box yesterday and he was perfectly content to play with it.

I will argue for one item on the Cheapskate Blog - the video monitor. The three times MacBaby has slept on the floor without one of us in attendance we have used it. Once we even plugged it in to our television in the family room and used our sleeping baby as entertainment during a dinner party.

Someone in the comments also mentions that a robe is useless, but MacBaby does have one of those and, I have to admit, wears it quite well.

What are items you wish you had skipped? What can't you live without?

Baby Talk

When you're pregnant, people throw the word "cervix" around like they're talking about the weather.

Apparently, when you're expecting, and after you've given birth, your private parts make for public conversation topics. Other often spoken, but still awkward baby buzz words include breast, uterus, placenta, effacement and of course, vaginal.

The most cringe inducing word to me is - I can't even write it - n-i-p-p-l-e. I had to come up with another word for what goes on the top of the baby bottles. I will talk about breastfeeding all day long, but will not refer to that part of my breasts.

Does this make me immature? Perhaps. But for some reason, I'm just uncomfortable talking about. . . those. . . in public.

What words make you shudder? Or are you immune to the anatomical lexicon?

We Have the Force

Here's a great article from Newsweek about helping minority kids change the perception of what's cool when it comes to education.

In addition to citing a touching story, it reminds me of just how much parents, educators and mentors can shape the minds of the little ones. Parents spend much time talking about how their kids don't listen, but this anecdote proves that sometimes they do.

With this power comes much responsibility. While MacBaby is still little enough that we can curse around him, soon we'll have to change this habit, along with other bad ones. It's daunting to think that your children model their behavior after you. I hope I can do right by him. If the first words out of his mouth are s**t, it will be an indication that I still have some work to do.

Parenthood: A 6 Month Retrospective

Now, that MacBaby is almost six months old, MacDad and I shared the best and most challening parts of being a parent during this half year.

We both agreed that scheduling is our biggest challenge at this point. The little dude likes to go to sleep by 8 p.m. so dinner and a bath have to be accomplished by 7:30. No more flitting about town for us (unless we dump him with the grandparents).

MacDad said teaching MacBaby about the world was the most exciting thing for him. I responded with baby hugs - meaning when MacBaby gives me little hugs. What I was getting at is the intense amount of love I feel for him and, I like to think, he feels for me.

What are your biggest challenges and what do you love about being a parent? If you're not one yet, but plan on having children in the future, what are you most looking forward to?

What is a "Wife" Anyway

A friend sent me this article from the NYT. Two married women struggle with what to call one another. Interestingly, the article mentions this essay, entitled "Why I Want a Wife"written by Judy Syfers in 1971. The article was originally published in Ms. magazine and distributed in my 9th grade honors English class.

I don't know what my 14 year old self must have thought of the article. I couldn't get a date to homecoming, so the thought of being a "wife" seemed like it was a long way off.

Now, though, re-reading the essay, I'm glad my domestic duties began nearly 40 years after it was written. I would have been really lousy maintaining all the responsibilities the author outlines. Though in some ways "modern" women have more expected of us as many of us also have full-time jobs, it's my contention that we also get more help around the house from our partners.

I've discussed this before, but MacDad is largely, if not entirely, in charge of all the family food preparation that is not supplied by my mamary glands. The chores I take sole responsibility for, I do because I like the way I do it. (The man carries around an unnecessary number of Sharpies which occasionally go through the wash if the pockets are not checked thoroughly. Thus, I do the laundry.)

MacDad is out of town for work, so this morning, I had to get MacBaby ready and out of the house in addition to making myself presentable. This seemed an arduous task, and yet MacDad does it every morning without complaint. So, props to him and all the other partners helping their "wives."

Crazies at the Grocery Story

Last week at the grocery story, TWO middle aged women engaged me in long conversations about MacBaby and both thought touching him was a good idea.

While I wouldn't go so far as to hang this on my child, I do wish there was a way to let strangers know that it's ok to look but not touch.

First of all, it's just weird. I thought it was weird when people talked to me at length when I was pregnant, but apparently that doesn't stop once you have baby. A woman working at a store I shopped in even called him chubby the other day. She had no room to talk. Also, MacBaby isn't chubby, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I don't want to talk to strangers and I certainly don't want to tell them intimate details about the inner workings of my body or my family. Why do you care what I would have named a girl if I had one?

Secondly -- germs. This is a particularly bad time for germ-a-phobes like myself. I desperately do not want my child to get swine flu. I don't know where your hands have been and if they've ever seen the likes of soap, so don't touch my kid.

Here's how neurotic I am: there's a play group tonight at our community early childhood center. I will take the boy, but I don't want him to touch any of the toys.

Am I crazy or do I am I taking a normal amount of precautions? Before you judge, let me also add that I work down the hall from a doctor's office and I've taken more sick days in the past two years than in my 10 years worth of previous jobs combined. This includes a three week suffering from mono.

Daughter's Hair Has Friend in Knots

A friend is dealing with a hairy situation. Her two and a half month old daughter twists her hair when falling asleep. Each morning, it takes my friend fifteen minutes to comb out the tangles in her daughter's hair. With another baby on the way, this is not time she has to spare during her morning routine. How can she stop her daughter from working her hair into knots? Advice needed.

What's Fer Dinner?

MacDad and I have begun making our way through this list of simple salads. Because we are dorks, we are rating our interest for each dish (taking the average score on a 1 - 5 scale) and then assigning a score after we've tried the salad. So far, #2 gets a 5. Highly recommended.

Love Hurts

I have made my child bleed twice, both times with the same nasty implement: nail clippers. MacDad believed my "obsession for hygiene" was injuring the dude, but now he's suffering the consequence of letting the little one's fingers grow. The entire MacFamily looks like we own a feral cat. There are tiny scratches all over our faces.

There is no good time to cut MacBaby's fingernails, and, when I actually do find a good time to do it, I still have a hard time ensuring that my work is even and smooth. When he was first born, a nurse recommended I bite them off, which worked for a while. But, now they're sturdier and MacBaby is wigglier.

Any tips for baby manicures? Should I just take him to Beautiful Nails with me?

Put Your Money Where Your Onesie Is

From BusinessWeek:

Gymboree (GYMB)

Oppenheimer upgrades to outperform from perform

Oppenheimer analyst Robert Samuels upgraded Gymboree on Aug. 20, saying that its Crazy 8 clothing stores division could double its store base and become profitable in 2010. Samuels also said Gymboree "seems to now be toying with the idea of international expansion" for Crazy 8.

The company's strong balance sheet and good stock value are "too compelling to ignore," he said.

"The (back-to-school) season seems to be starting off strong and, in classic GYMB style, we expect that the company will continue to come up with innovative and creative ways to drive traffic and offer compelling promotions," Samuels said.

Samuels raised his 2009 profit estimate for the company to $3.31 per share and for 2010 to $3.70 per share. Analysts polled by Thomson Reuters expect profit of $3.25 in the year that ends in January and $3.54 in the year that ends January 2011.

The Sleep Situation

This sleeping situation came up yesterday in the comments, so I thought I would post about it. Honestly, I don't think it's going very well. My plan pre-birth was to have him sleeping in his own room by the time I went back to work. Didn't happen.

Apparently, I subscribe somewhat to the Attachment Parenting theory. In our house, this is also referred to as "smother mother," or simply, "Jewish mother."

The way this has played out in MacBaby's sleeping habits is that he sleeps in the bed with us. At first, we chose this route not out of any sort of defined parenting techniques -- I simply needed to get some sleep and the dude would NOT sleep in his Pack 'n Play.

Then, things got better and he would sleep in his Pack 'n Play until about midnight. But, then he started rolling from his back to his stomach and everything went haywire again. In his sleep, he would roll and wake up and cry.

I suppose I could leave him in there to cry himself to sleep, but, in the big picture, he's still a little baby. They say that all babies are born premature compared to other species who pop out rearing to go. So, by that logic, he didn't really come into his own until three months, which means he's really only been an alert human being for two months.

At some point, he will sleep in his own crib, in his own room. As for the how and when, your guess is as good as mine.

Planning for Maternity Leave

Here's a good article about setting your and your employers expectations for maternity leave. I told my boss I was pregnant rather early in case she was wondering why I was looking pale and running to the bathroom all the time.

How Often Should We Bathe Baby?

Since we started Feeding MacBaby rice cereal in the evenings, our lives have become more complicated. The rice cereal-eating has to be coordinated with our dinner. I try to do them at the same time, but inevitably, MacBaby is done eating before we are. This presents a problem since MacBaby is a big mess by the time he finishes his "dinner." There is far more food on his face than in his gullet.

I give him a wipedown, but it would be more convenient to put him directly into the tub, which raises the question in the title of this post. We were bathing MacBaby every other night on the recommendation of the pediatrician. But with advent of rice cereal I feel as though it is now necessary on a nightly basis, lest he go to sleep with rice cereal in his hair.

How often do you bathe your little one? Is nightly too much? An additional question - what shampoo/soap do you use? I was determined not to use these cancer causing agents, but was given them as gifts. I'm planning on switching to organic after they run out.

Working Moms (and Dads) Want to Play Too

I realize I've been posting quite a bit about being a working mom, but just bear with me with this final post on the topic and I'll try to find something else to talk about :)

When I went back to work, I was desperate to find a class or playgroup for MacBaby and I to do together during an evening or weekend. This, it seemed, was an almost impossible task. All fun things for babies and mommies are during the work day. I find this strange for two reasons: 1) I know very few stay at home moms, but these classes are all catered to them and 2) Apparently working dads are incidental in child rearing to early childhood centers.

I finally found one class that I signed up for held one evening a week starting in the fall, but they have yet to confirm my registration due to low participation numbers.

But! MacDad and I successfully took MacBaby to his first parent-child participatory class yesterday - Kidz Rock. The class is geared toward kids zero - five, which turns out to be a fairly substantial age difference. MacBaby was the littlest rocker in the class. He alternated between enthralled and totally freaked. The teacher was all for his participation, though so we'll keep at it. He did get to bang on a drum for a few minutes and seemed to really enjoy that.

Really, it made me feel good being able to take my child to a class that will hopefully be good for his cognitive development and perhaps may lead to him shredding a mean guitar at some point.

The Definition of TMI

The wife of Twitter's CEO is twittering her labor according to this article.

After MacBaby safely arrived into the world, I realized MacDad twittered the experience. This annoyed. And, he did NOT need to share with the world that I OCCASIONALLY watched Oprah during my maternity leave. Some things were just between me and my newborn baby.

We have a new rule in our house: cell phone usage, for emailing, twittering, talking and internet searching is prohibiting. Much the way that growing up, we didn' t eat in front of the tv, we're not going to spend our family time hooked up to electronic devices. While we sometimes like to tweet/blog about food, no one is dying to know that we're having steamed salmon for dinner while we're eating it.

I'm all for social media as a world-wide think tank, but at some point, you should just let technology go (this blog included) and live your life.

Exciting New Developments in the Life of MacBaby

1) MacBaby now recognizes me, smiles and gets excited when I visit him at lunch. Perhaps it's because he knows he's going to eat, but I'll take it.

2) The rice cereal eating is progressing. Last night, in addition to still spitting most of it out, he reached for spoon and was excited to take more bites, which eventually landed on his lap. He is well on his way to becoming a foodie, possibly a master chef.

It's the little things in life. . .

I Read the Internets So You Don't Have To

• Don't let your kids near the medicine cabinet
• More health benefits for breastfeeding moms
• What your baby is thinking about: a theory
• Current view of the playpen
• A mom goes sober

More Disses for Working Moms

As if it's not bad enough that my kid realizes when I leave in the morning now and expresses his disappointment with a disconcerted look on his face, The Huffington Post adds to my guilt.

This article states:

As psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth showed in their research, a child needs a 'secure base' in his early years before launching out to explore the world. A strong attachment to his parents in his first years will give a child emotional maturity and a healthy mental development. Otherwise, his social and emotional development will not be normal.

So, my choices are to work to provide food, clothing and shelter for an emotionally stunted child or be bonded to my normal child who goes barefoot because we can't afford to buy him shoes.

Ok. I admit it's not that dramatic. I'm just trying to make a point.

The subject of the article does make an exception for those who have to work.

I'm not talking about mothers that need to work for financial reasons. I'm talking about women who are so caught up in the pressures of society and in their ambitions that they are not brave enough to suspend their careers for their children's sake.

Is there a distinction to your child when he's five months old? It's not like you can explain to him, "I would really like to stay home with you all day, but I'd really like to contribute to your 529, too."

I get her point that there is should be no stigma attached to staying home (see earlier post), but if you're working to achieve financial goals for the betterment of your family, that should be acceptable too. Hopefully my "emotionally stunted" child will thank me when we foot the bill for his college education.

Hi. I'm a Mom. And I Can Have Adult Conversations. FYI.

This weekend, the MacFamily Unit were out and about and ran into some friends at a coffee shop. MacDad was walking around with MacBaby and left me at a table with two gentleman I had never met. The two engaged in conversation, asking one another about their occupations. No one at the table bothered to ask me what I did or my opinion about anyting they were talking about. This annoyed. Big time.

Was I wearing an unattractive nursing bra? Yes. Did I have spit-up on my skirt? Yes. Does this discount me from using my brain? No. Perhaps they assumed that I'm a stay at home mom, which is a fine assumption. I have no issues with stay at home moms and aspire to be one some day (*sigh*).

But, even if I did stay at home, I'm still college educated and pay attention to current events (pop cuture and actual news both). But, I do work and my work is directly related to one of the guy's career plans. Too bad he didn't bother to ask.

And, for all you dudes out there who think taking care of a baby isn't work, I beg to differ. It is far more challenging, physically and mentally, than sitting in an office all day. And, more rewarding to boot.

Have any other mothers out there had an experience where your opinion was automatically discounted because you're just a mom? Did it annoy you as much as it annoyed me?

You Annoy Me Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man

I realize that this story may make me sound like a nutbag. I'm ok with that.

MacDad frequently travels for work. We have a routine of speaking frequently in the evenings. Last night, he was in Txxxxxx, CT. We spoke after I was done with work and MacBaby and I fell asleep around 9 o'clock (yes, this is my new bed time. I'm ok with that, too.).

I woke up around 11 realizing I hadn't heard from MacDad. I tried his phone, but voicemail picked up after one ring. I surmised it was off and had probably run out of battery. I decided to track down his hotel. My internet search came up with one hotel in Txxxxxxx, CT. I called the Marriott there and Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man told me MacDad was not staying there.

More internet searches led me to hotels in various surrounding cities, but I was fairly sure these were incorrect. I called back to the original Marriott, thinking perhpas they didn't understand the spelling of the name. Again Mr. Hotel Front Desk man he was not there, and suggested other hotels.

Shortly after, MacDad called. He returned from a late night McDonald's run and was greeted by the Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man who told him he was in trouble because a lady was looking for him. This was the same man who referred me to other hotels knowing this information was incorrect. I can only assume he was bored and had to find a way to entertain himself.

MacDad alerted him that it was his wife (me) calling. Apparently Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man did not connect me because I did not know his hotel room. This is their way of keeping "jilted lovers" at bay because "some people don't want to be found." What the hell kind of shady people live in Txxxxxx, CT?

Mr. Hotel Front Desk Man, I could have been calling about an emergency. I wasn't. But I could have been. You're lucky I wasn't. The next time a wife calls looking for her husband, PUT HER THROUGH TO THE DAMN ROOM! Sheesh.

Should I Move to France to Recevie Acceptable Maternity Benefits?

This article in Newsweek points out that:

In the study of 173 countries, we stood with Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea as the only countries providing no paid maternity leave. Of the 169 countries that guarantee paid maternity leave, 98 of them provide 14 or more weeks. Among wealthy countries—except ours—parents are entitled to as much as 47 weeks of paid family leave.

Why is there not a bigger cry for maternity leave form in the U.S.? I suspect that it goes back to our puritanical roots and our country's "work ethic," in addition to the longtime dominance of the old white men. I could similarly write a whole post about getting a month of for vacation a la Europe, but that's for another time.

I truly believe, though, that reform is necessary. Speaking from my personal experience, my small office offers six weeks of short-term disability coverage. I coupled that with saved vacation days and financial savings to take an additional six weeks off. Though FMLA in larger organizations allows women to take 12 weeks, it does not provide income, making the time off impossible for many women. I was lucky to be able to take advantage of my office's coverage and to be able to plan accordingly for more time.

Why is this an important issue to me? The sooner women return to work, the less likely they are to continue breastfeeding. Although, not every woman opts to breastfeed, we should all have the choice, especially for the first six months of an infants life. According to the World Health Organization, this is the only nutrient necessary.

With my current work schedule, I work four days, then am off for a three day weekend. While I'm home, I am the sole provider of MacBaby's meals. If I didn't have to work, he would never receive formula. As it were, the pumping proved to be ridiculously time consuming, so he does take formula while I'm at work.

Again, I'm not saying everyone must breastfeed their children and that anything else is bad parenting, but we should at least be able to raise our children with our best intentions the way we see fit. The government should want that too.

What The?

I'm all for breastfeeding, but this seems to be a bit much.

It's Not Like I Spend All My Time Watching MTV . . .

But, I happened to catch an episode of True Life last night entitled "I'm Having Twins." This represents my nightmare. One of the featured couples had girl twins which is my WORST nightmare. I'm convinced girls are harder to raise than boys. I can't imagine having TWO of them at ONCE. Everytime I see twins out and about, I literally say out loud, "TWO!," in amazement.

I can only imagine that with twins you get zero sleep and can't get anything around the house done. This must require much additional help, especially if you have already procreated. I know a mom of twins who went out to get bagels after she brought her daughters home from the hospital and forgot the bagels at the bakery.

If you have twins, I am extremely awed by you. If I ever have twins, please plan on bringing me a casserole.

Flu Shots For Everyone!

MacBaby and I both have a cold (his first), which only amplifies my constant fear of swine flu hitting the MacFamily household.

This article states that pregnant women are at greater risk of the flu and can suffer greater consequences. I'm a big fan of flu shots and I can also attest that pregnant women are likelier to get sicker than their non-pregnant counterparts. Last winter, I had a series of ailments that you do not want details about.

In summary, I and MacBaby will be getting flu/swine flu shots if/when available. And, wash your hands people!

Around the Web

• China potentially revisiting it's one child policy
• Researching premie births
• Gay adoption
• A husband walks a mile in his wife's pregnant shoes (filled with swollen feet?)
• A sippy cup comparison
• Old moms
• More on 16 and Pregnant

16 and Pregnant for your Viewing Pleasure

On Thursday night, I watched the season finale of 16 and Pregnant on MTV hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky. I haven't seen every minute of each episode, but I got the gist of the series and was intrigued enough to check in on these girls who became moms at an early age.

Controversy exists over the series and whether or not it glorifies teen pregnancy. I felt like MTV portrayed the challenges and rewards honestly. The season finale, though, I thought was would have been more subtle only if Dr. Drew had a sledgehammer and to hit audience members over the head with while screaming, "don't have unprotected sex!"He clearly had an agenda to communicate.

Dr. Drew wanted the moms to admit that they made a mistake and regret getting pregnant and having a kid. While I'm sure these moms do think about how their lives have changed, their repentance would only negate the presence of their children.

I think the fifteen year olds in the audience, and those watching from home, are discerning enough to realize that having a child as a teenager will seriously complicate your life. Enough with making the girls cry. I would have been all for him slapping Farrah's mom, though.

The whole presentation of the finale was totally wanabee twee. Why did they have to steal The Flight of the Conchords music? I find it strange that they refer to those featured on the show as the "cast," like they auditioned for the part. It's not a cast! They're real people! This isn't The Hills!

Dr. Drew revealed there would be a season two. This, I approach skeptically. Since the show garnered a large audience, I hope that teenage girls aren't trying to get pregnant just to be on MTV. While I said earlier that teenagers can be discerning, they can also be calculating and publicity-crazed.

Finally, I wish that the people who adopted Catelynn's baby would have adopted her and Tyler too.

More on Breastfeeding

The debate over breast versus bottle rages at the New York Times. The caption for the illustration cracks me up.

My New Favorite Parenting Site Speaks the Truth

This dude is hilarious. I commend him for pointing out the one negative part of breastfeeding:

Unlike the absurdly judgmental authors of just about every baby book lying around the flat, I really have no opinion when it comes to breast vs. bottle feeding. However when I hear the "F" word, all my selfish instincts tell me one thing: the breast is better. The breast means I get to sleep most of the night.

When I say negative, I mean negative for me. Thank you, new dad, for admitting the truth. Dads love the breastfeeding because it absolves them from feeding responsibilities! The most uttered phrase from MacDad after MacBaby was born was "I think he's hungry." Sometimes this was true, sometimes not. Now, it's even less of an excuse since he's on more of a schedule for eating (every three hours).

While I didn't mind being solely responsible for feeding MacBaby during the day, after 10 p.m. it sucked. Once MacDad went back to work, the rational part of my brain said, "let him sleep, he has to get up in the morning." But, it is very hard to maintain this attitude at three a.m. while your spouse is snoring and you are staring at the clock watching one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock come and go.

Fortunately, our (my) sleep schedule has improved, and but I haven't more than four hours in a row since March 22, 2009. On the plus side, I haven't witnessed a sunrise in several months.

A friend suggested I would miss those quiet morning, listening to the birds begin to chirp and staring at my child wondering if he would ever fall back to sleep. I do not. Instead, I relish the time we have now, sleeping and cuddling side by side.

Proof That I'm Not Crazy

The MacFamily Unit has two dogs. They used to roam the house freely, sometimes even sleeping in the bed with us (much to my chagrin).

Lately, they've been spending their time in the basement and in the back yard (they have a doggie door).

Here's why. This dog stole a baby from its crib and took it for a ride in the backyard. While I'm sure neither of our dogs would be this astute, from the first night in the hospital, I had nightmares about such incidents.

It's nice to know that I'm not making up that dogs could conceivably harm newborns.

Need Formula Because You're Physically Incapable of Breastfeeding? The Gov Says Bah.

This article in Newsweek is interesting and timely, since the MacFamily Unit just set up our fexible spending account for the first time. The IRS refuses to add formula to the list of approved expenditures, even for a woman who had a double mascetomy and is physicall incabable of breastfeeding.

To recap: ovulation predictor kits - ok. The necessary-for-survival food with which you'll feed the eventual result of the ovulation predictor kit - not ok.

If you find this information unsettling, let your local Representative know.

Today is an Exciting Day for the MacFamily Unit

Tonight we're taking MacBaby to the pediatrician for his 4th month checkup. I'm very curious as to whether we'll get the go ahead for solid foods. From what I've read, the little ones start with rice cereal between four and six months. I think MacBaby is exhibiting all the signs for readiness, but I'd be fine with him waiting another two months. He seems perfectly happy and is progressing into infanthood nicely. I don't want to rush things.

This newfound trait - patience - is something I've learned in the past four months.

When MacBaby got home from the hospital, I was anxious for him to put some meat on his bones. I wanted a sturdier baby, one less fragile. But now, the time is zooming by. He smiles and even laughs. He plays in his exersaucer, and gets annoyed when we take him out to play with us. He faces out in his stroller, content to watch the world instead of making eye contact with his parents. He'll be in college before I know it!

So, I'm content for him to exist on breastmilk (and eight bottles of formula per week) for the time being.

By the way, what are the best (actual) books on child development? I feel as though I should have a few more handy as a resource in addition to the all-knowing internets.

What's Fer Dinner?

While I'm pondering what the MacFamily unit will be dining on tonight, I thought I'd share one of my favorite recipes, one-pot salmon with snap peas and rice, courtesy of Real Simple. Believe me, if I can do it, you can do it.

From Supermodel to Supermom

On Saturday morning, a rare moment occurred in my household. MacDad and MacBaby napped together and I got a moment to myself! I took advantage of the time to read the latest issue of Vogue and learned about supermodel Christy Turlington's involvement in preventing international maternal deaths. According the the article, "half a million women die in childbirth every year, a figure that has changed little in 20 years." Her research led her to finance a documentary filmed in Bangladesh, Tanzania and Guatemala following mothers and their treatment during pregnancy. She's advocating for change while working with CARE's Mothers Matter program, in addition to raising her own two kids.

Pregnancy and childbirth are scary as is, I can't imagine facing these issues in an underdeveloped country. Thinking about my own experience, I'm certain that MacBaby would have suffered permanent damage had it not been for the expertise of the medical team treating me. I had a c-section because dilation was not progressing. When they took out MacBaby, they realized the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck three times. Thankfully, he was fine, but I thought for weeks about what could have happened.

I know I won't follow Christy Turlington's example and go back to school for my master's degree in public health, but I will continue learning about this important issues and determining how I can make a difference to moms and babies in need around the world.

Nekkid Time

The New York Times addresses child nudity today, a topic that McDad and I discuss frequently and have set guidelines for.

For instance, we can take pictures of our baby nude and put them in an album, but we do not post them online or share them with others electronically. Someday, he will be a man and may be annoyed that his parents shared pictures of his bits with the world. We're trying to avoid that.

In real life, our child has yet to wear a pair of pants. I've wondered if he should don a pair, but McDad argued that he has the rest of his life to wear pants. Agreed. He will start wearing pants in September when it gets cooler and he's a little older. At nighttime, pajamas are unnecessary. MacBaby sleeps only in a diaper. He seems more comfortable that way and it gives his skin time to breathe. What about airing out his derriere? Unfortunately, he's got to keep tush covered for now as it can explode at any moment.

Funny story about that: soon after we returned from the hospital, McDad decided McBaby needed naked time. I tried to warn him that this was a terrible idea. Sure enough, he got pooped on. Lesson learned.

This topic also alludes to a time in my life which I'm dreading: having to be fully clothed myself. For now, since MacBaby literally survives on a product my body produces, I'm extremely lax about modesty in our household. I will be very sad the day I have to wear clothes around him. When will that happen do you think? Where's the balance between helping your child embrace the natural state and scarring him?

What's in my Diaper Bag?

Please note: I do not have a "diaper bag." I carry around a large tote bag which currently contains the following:

• Wallet
• Sunglasses
• Be Be Au Lait Nursing Cover
• Small bag containing lip products and small brush
• Ahava Mineral Hand Cream
• Checkbook
• Three size 3 pampers
• Barrett
• Camera
• Two spare baby outfits
• Huggies Soft Skin Baby Wipes (travel pack)
• Burp cloth
• Sun block
• Cash totalling $6
• Biodegradable diaper sacks
• iPhone
• Peek Bah Booh! book
• Travel Diaper Changing Kit, which contains more wipes, but funnily enough, no diapers

I'm glad I did this. I had no idea all this crap was in there and found another lip gloss. I'm not savvy enough to carry a separate bag for when I'm not with baby, so I just schelp this stuff around all the time. Perhaps not the best system I'm realizing.

What's in your diaper bag?