MacDad's Advice for New Dads

A friend of the MacFamily Unit just had a baby. Follows is an email from MacDad to this new dad.

Congrats. My only advice is, don't turn to your wife after the first sleepless night and say "You better figure this shit out, I gotta go back to work." She won't likely forget it very quickly. Or perhaps ever.

Other items:

• Eastern europeans have uniquely domainant genes; I'm not surprised that she is more Hungarian-flavored than Korean. In the formation of our son, MacMama's russian jew genes crushed mine like a line of T-72s plowing through Prague. But he turned out to be pretty cool anyway.
• C-Sections are wild. Did you get to be in the OR? Did you get a clean suit? I accidentally peeked when they did MacMama's. Fucking gore everywhere. Something that looked like pork tenderloin, slathered with jelly; I think it was the placenta. Brings a new level of respect for the mama.
• Get out of the hospital as soon as you can. Don't let the nurses or doctors give you any shit. Everyone has advice and it's often conflicting or wrong. Once you get home things get substantially more sane.
• OK, one more tip: Nobody comes in or out of your house without bringing you something (food, baby shit) or taking something away (garbage, baby shit.) No casual sightseers.
  

Now you just have to spend the rest of you life caring for, feeding and nurturing that girl. And keeping her off the pole. Really, that's about it. Congrats again.

LOL.

Postpartum Depression - Not Just For Moms Anymore

According to this article in the New York Times, new dad can experience postpartum depression, too. One study on the subject cites that "4 percent of fathers had clinically significant depressive symptoms within eight weeks of the birth of their children." I haven't really thought of this before, but it makes sense.

Women start mentally and physically preparing for motherhood the minute we find out we're pregnant. We're tired and can't drink, so pregnancy already necessitates a life-style change. Fathers are on the sideline while the moms grow, and start bonding, with their babies. Yes, many dads are very involved, but seeing your child once or twice through an ultrasound and feeling him do daily somersaults in your stomach are very different.

Through labor and delivery, and once the newborn arrives, much of the attention is still on the moms. If a baby is breastfed exclusively, a dad is unable even to feed his new child. Adding to that pressure to keep the family financially stable, lack of sleep and less intimacy, I could see how this could cause alienation and depression.

Thanks to the New York Times for bringing awareness to this issue. The author suggests psychotherapy and antidepressants as solutions. Although neither MacDad and I suffered postpartum depression, we did experience growing pains with the addition of our new family member. As such, I would include time as a healing factor. New born babies are hard. In my experience, it gets easier.