Oh, Erica

Let me preface this post by stating that I am an Erica Jong fan. When I discovered Fear of Flying in college, it felt like a light bulb went off in my head. It was possible for a woman to be sexual and intellectual in a way that I had never encountered. Instead of just putting the book back on the shelf, I passed it around to all my friends so we could discuss the Zipless you-know-what. I referenced the book in my often-referred to college paper on Jewish mothers in literature. I even tried to get MacDad to read it, but that didn't go too well. I not only read Fear of Flying, but the two lesser-read sequels. So, I'm a bit familiar with her.

It seems my literary idol has created a brouhaha on the internet by slamming Attachment Parenting (AP) in a Wall Street Journal essay. She claims that AP imprisons motherhood and is creating a backlash to the feminist movement for which her generation of women passionately though.

My first thought when reading her article -- the things Jong complains about modern mothers doing are not that hard. Take for example, her issue with making your own baby food. MacDad and I made our own baby food. My reasoning was that I wouldn't want to eat my meals out of a jar, so why should he. Also, we make ourselves dinner almost every night, so steaming some peas and blending them is not so much more work compared to the rest of the meal.

Is making your own baby food such a big deal and something to feel angry about? That's just silly. Same goes for her issues with breastfeeding and reusable diapers. If you use formula and disposable diapers (which I do), fine. If you choose to take the AP approach, that's great too. These activities should be encouraged. It's hard to argue that they're not better for the baby and the environment. However you raise your child, ultimately, it's your choice. That, from my impression, is the point that Jong and her feminist compatriots were fighting for. And, therein lies the difference between her generation and mine.

I get the feeling that Jong didn't necessarily choose motherhood. Having children was the way of life when she was an adult. It was assumed that being a mother was the course your life would take. Now, though, I think that women consider their options more thoroughly. Even though I'm a parent, MacDad and I thought through our decision and intentionally created a family. I don't view AP, or parenting in general as a chore (for the most part), but as a privilege. I'm happy to spend time with my son and to provide for him to the best of my ability, whether it be emotionally, physically or financially.

So, Erica Jong, you have let me down. I do not feel as though I have given up my life for my child, I feel as though he has enriched it.