Yes, I Can Tie the Oscars to Parenting

After a prolonged adventure yesterday afternoon, followed by only a hasty nap in the car, MacBaby was quite tired yesterday evening. He fell asleep at the unprecedented early hour of 7:30, allowing MacDad and I to ensure the Oscar telecast.

Anne Hathaway and James Franco were horrible and inside jokes dominated the script. But, my biggest beef was with the best picture nominee montages. Luckily, I had seen a few of the films, because they included the freaking ending! With no spoiler alert! Had I not already seen The Black Swan or The King's Speech, I would have been piiiiiised when I realized that I had already seen the twisty (for Black Swan) ending.

Hopefully, the Social Network's ending was not included, because I have yet to see that one due to its length and MacDad's inability to start a movie and not finish it during the same sitting. I guess I'll have to wait until the next time MacBaby poops out early.

Perceptions of Parenting Before and After Baby

Before MacBaby's birth, MacDad and I had numerous conversations about the type of parents we would be. Looking back, we were clueless. As many ideas as you can have in your head about how you will parent, it all changes once the little one is in your arms.

We were both anti-formula (MacBaby had it on his first day of life) and anti-co-sleeping (MacBaby still sleeps in our bed). I remember in about my 8th month of pregnancy, MacDad and I debated crying it out. I was anti, and MacDad was pro. He positioned himself as the ultimate disciplinarian, needing to assert control over MacBaby's behavior.

Needless to say, this is not the case. It seems as though MacDad is a pushover, and must instill rules. For instance, when MacBaby finds Oreos in our bed at 9 p.m. (don't ask), he desperately wanted one. I refused, but MacDad, swayed by toddler tears, gave in.

Obviously, the cry it out method has not been discussed any further in our household.

School Days

As MacFamily unit is approaching MacBaby’s second birthday (time flies!), we have begun debating MacBaby’s education. There’s no debate that he’s getting one – it’s more a question of when and where.

While our school district boasts the third-best preschool in the state, MacBaby can’t enroll until he’s 3, which would be 3.5 with his March birthday. So, do we wait until then, or start him in another program, to potentially switch him a year later? Another big decision – will he go a half day, or a full day, and for how many days each week? Will I be able to leave work to pick him up promptly? What if there’s another MacBaby in our future? How will that affect our schedule?

In order to start answering these questions, I have been scoping out our options. Unfortunately, location plays a bigger role in our selection than I would prefer. As we can barely get out the door now, it’s unlikely that we will spend an extra hour in the car in the morning shuttling to school and work. In addition, we have ruled out preschools in churches, as we're not interested in religious education.

MacDad thinks I’m crazy, but I admit to judging a book by its cover. One preschool I heard great things about doesn’t have a Web site, so they sent me a brochure in the mail. This brochure has not been updated since 1982. There was a label over the pricing listing the current costs. I threw it out. Why, MacDad wanted to know, are the communication materials so important? What if it’s a phenomenal program?

As a modern mom, I need to be communicated with easily, and in ways I’m accustomed. If I can’t look at your Web site to figure out what my son will be eating on a given day, then you’re not up to speed. If I can’t email you, then forget it. If you can’t be bothered to update your brochure in 20 years, then what else are you neglecting?

In addition to appropriate marketing materials, we’re trying to decide what other aspects of a preschool are important to us. I want to ensure that MacBaby will get nutritious meals and snacks, not just a bunch of fried food and sweets. I’m looking for compassionate teachers who don’t raise their voices. An environment with a multitude of learning toys and opportunities for MacBaby to expand his awareness of the world is ideal.

What do you think the right age is for a kid to start preschool? What’s important to you in a program? We need advice!

Toddler Talk

Here's an excerpt from a conversation I had with my mom last week:

"Oh, by the way, I mean to tell you that it's going to rain tomorrow. Ding."

An outsider to this exchange would have thought she's nuts. But, I knew why she interjected a random verb after the weather warning. The toaster went off. Why would she need to express this during our conversation? Because every time an appliance makes a noise, MacBaby says "Ding," then we reply, "Ding."

Toddler talk has penetrated our home. It's surprisingly hard to leave it there while interacting with other adults.

When MacDad and I go out by ourselves (rarely) and get in the car, we don't remark how we're on our way somewhere, we just say "let's go go." Similarly, I point out a dog, at least in my mind, every time one crosses my path." No longer do we wish each other good bye, but "bye bye." We no longer use the bathroom. We "go potty."

I suppose as his vocabulary improves, my toddler talk will dissipate. But, for now, I'll continue to conclude my meetings with "all done."

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are having our inaugural Thanksgiving family feast this year.

I have been tasked with cranberry sauce. My trial run a few weeks back proved successful, so I'm hopeful that it will come out well tomorrow.

Here's the recipe I'm using. Let me know if you use it, too and how it works out!

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Day in the Life Vol. 2

The first Day in the Life Guest Post follows!

I am a mother of two beautiful, energetic, happy, exhausting girls ages 3 ½ and 10 months. I work as a consultant 3 days a week and I am at home with my daughters the other two days. I look forward to my two days at home with my daughters, but they are definitely “harder” than the days I am at work.

A typical day at home with my daughters starts around 6:30 a.m. I try to get up and shower before my youngest is awake and before my husband leaves for work. My youngest wakes up around 7 a.m. The three of us have breakfast together while my husband gets ready for work. He leaves around 7:30 a.m.

The morning is usually one of favorite times because I love eating breakfast (it is the one thing I can actually cook successfully!) and everyone is happy and excited for the day. We usually have pancakes or French toast but sometimes I try to mix it up by making scrambled eggs. We take our time in the morning- eating, talking, listening to music and dancing. After breakfast we have some play time and get dressed.

My youngest goes down for a nap around 9 to 9:30 a.m. Even though I try hard to limit TV time for my oldest, she LOVES TV, so I usually let her watch a show or two while my youngest naps and I get ready for the day or do some cleaning. Super Why and Word World are our favorites right now. I try to make myself feel less guilty knowing that she is watching something that is helping her with letters and reading.

Then comes rush time… my oldest does gymnastic one day and swimming the other day. No matter how early I start getting ready we always seem to be late. We must get my youngest up for her nap, bottle ready, snack for the oldest, oldest on the potty, shoes and jackets and finally out the door. After gymnastics/swimming we rush home to have lunch. I try to make the lunch earlier in the day so we can sit down and eat right when we get home. Lately it has been peanut butter and jelly for my oldest and I have started eating it too because it is just easier to make two at once. My youngest is still eating baby food and then will pick at some table food.

We rush through lunch because a physical therapist comes to our house to work with my youngest right after lunch. We discovered that my youngest had a stroke at or right before birth, and she is not able to fully use her left arm, hand and leg at this point. She is a left side hemiplegic. She has been getting physical therapy twice a week and we are seeing progress. She recently started sitting up and rolling over- we are so proud of her! The therapy session is about 45 minutes and is equivalent to an adult doing 45 minutes of cardio, so my youngest is usually pretty tired afterwards. She will then take her afternoon nap while my oldest and I have some special alone time. We might do Play-Doh, coloring, reading, cooking, puzzles, games.

My youngest will wake up by 3, have her bottle and then the three of us might go for a walk or run some errands. We start getting ready for dinner around 4:30 and my husband is home around 5:30. Then we have usually eaten and cleaned up by 6. Then it is play time, bath time, get ready for bed and stories. My husband usually puts my oldest to bed while I put my youngest to bed since I am still breastfeeding her at night. If all goes well, both girls are in bed asleep by 7:30. Phew! Then my husband and I have a couple hours to ourselves, which I usually spend doing work, catching up on email, doing laundry, going for a walk or maybe even relaxing every once in a while. Then it is in bed by 10:30 or 11. Love it!

Oh, Erica

Let me preface this post by stating that I am an Erica Jong fan. When I discovered Fear of Flying in college, it felt like a light bulb went off in my head. It was possible for a woman to be sexual and intellectual in a way that I had never encountered. Instead of just putting the book back on the shelf, I passed it around to all my friends so we could discuss the Zipless you-know-what. I referenced the book in my often-referred to college paper on Jewish mothers in literature. I even tried to get MacDad to read it, but that didn't go too well. I not only read Fear of Flying, but the two lesser-read sequels. So, I'm a bit familiar with her.

It seems my literary idol has created a brouhaha on the internet by slamming Attachment Parenting (AP) in a Wall Street Journal essay. She claims that AP imprisons motherhood and is creating a backlash to the feminist movement for which her generation of women passionately though.

My first thought when reading her article -- the things Jong complains about modern mothers doing are not that hard. Take for example, her issue with making your own baby food. MacDad and I made our own baby food. My reasoning was that I wouldn't want to eat my meals out of a jar, so why should he. Also, we make ourselves dinner almost every night, so steaming some peas and blending them is not so much more work compared to the rest of the meal.

Is making your own baby food such a big deal and something to feel angry about? That's just silly. Same goes for her issues with breastfeeding and reusable diapers. If you use formula and disposable diapers (which I do), fine. If you choose to take the AP approach, that's great too. These activities should be encouraged. It's hard to argue that they're not better for the baby and the environment. However you raise your child, ultimately, it's your choice. That, from my impression, is the point that Jong and her feminist compatriots were fighting for. And, therein lies the difference between her generation and mine.

I get the feeling that Jong didn't necessarily choose motherhood. Having children was the way of life when she was an adult. It was assumed that being a mother was the course your life would take. Now, though, I think that women consider their options more thoroughly. Even though I'm a parent, MacDad and I thought through our decision and intentionally created a family. I don't view AP, or parenting in general as a chore (for the most part), but as a privilege. I'm happy to spend time with my son and to provide for him to the best of my ability, whether it be emotionally, physically or financially.

So, Erica Jong, you have let me down. I do not feel as though I have given up my life for my child, I feel as though he has enriched it.